Indefinite Hiatus

I'm taking a break, y'all. There are too many things in my life that need attention. Alot of attention. I am so easily and quickly sucked into this thing. This feels like a replay of the last time I took a break, and it is similar... except this time I won't be back in a week.

It's time I faced the music. I've gotta to be honest with myself and hold myself to a standard that I hold other people to, but have been unwilling to live by myself. I think they have a word for that: hypocrisy.

Continuing to spend as much time sitting at this computer as I have been... I can't justify it anymore. I'm overdoing it, and I need to step completely away for a while. Some people are able to balance this part of their life with everything else, but as for me, I have done very poorly. And I need to rectify that.

I teach my children to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. I guess I'm back in school, relearning that lesson. Stuff is piling up around here, and I'm not just talking about the dust, dishes and unfolded clothes. My priorities are in the wrong place and it's costing me, big time. Bottom line: My house is not in order.

And I need to see about that.

I think it's important that I remind myself that this blog is not my life. It's just a blog. It's not really what's real.

The irony is that the fear of missing out on something "important" has cost me the most important thing. By putting off facing this issue that has been steadily growing and growing, I have sent the message to people I care about that this is more important to me than they are. And that is just wrong.

I don't know how long I'll be gone, but for now I cannot see an end in sight.

Thank you so much for your understanding, and for really making blogging fun for me... really. I'll miss y'all, but I'll see you when I get back!

*** I am still able to be reached by email. All comments left for me here
are sent directly to my email, so if you need me, I can still be found. ***

Thanks again all of my lovely friends!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And, just in case you came here looking for something to read,
here are a few links to a few of my favorite posts....

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever
I'm Outdone
I have sunk (sank) (sunken) to a new low
100 Things
I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbit
She saw me, and then I saw myself

Okay well, in case I don't see you... good morning, good evening and good night!

Running To and Fro & Hither and Yon

Before we get to today's post, I want to say thank you to all of you who commented on the previous one. It did just what I had hoped - raised awareness - and that makes me heap glad!

..............................................................................................................................................................

Okay. So remember the running? It has commenced. And I am loving it. For the first 3/4 mile, at least.

And then I'm more or less hating it. But somehow still loving it.

I hate it. But I love it.

And I also love fragments {and rabbit trails, evidently}.
Always love those, never hate them. Just to clarify.

In other news, my mind has been all a-clatter, trying to inwardly organize things for an upcoming event where I will be selling some of my handmades. I am mass producing for the first time ever and she do not agree with me. I'm more of a create-as-the-muse-strikes kind of girl. This whole produce-produce-produce-must-keep-producing mindset is wearing me down... making me nervous.

Generally speaking, I am not a fan of The Nervous. I find it makes it difficult to do stuff.

And I really need to be doing stuff right about now.

I set a goal though. I will use up all of the materials I have, making as many things as possible with what I have on hand. And I will do it all this week.

I'll post some pictures relatively soon.

{Ya like how I threw in that "relatively"
so as not to actually COMMIT to any set and determined time?
See? That's more my style.
To know me is to love me.
Or to be perpetually frustrated.}

One of the things I'm making {Diaper/Wiper Pouches}, I posted pictures of long ago. I'll be making a slew of those, and also something else I have a hard time labeling. They're hand-stitched, framed quotes and words.

Every time people ask what I'm making I go all dead in the eyes. I don't know what to call them.

"Hand-Stitched, Framed Quotes and Words" is a bit loquacious, don't you think? Not to mention lacklustre. And dumb.

If you name them for me, I will make all your dreams come true.

I might even build you a cake or something.

So that is it lovely people.... that's what I've been up to.
Running on my legs, and running in my brain.

I feel like a hamster. Could someone bring me a salad?

traffic

Imagine for a moment...

A university student is looking forward to her summer job placement she's been promised overseas. She and her friend travel together. They are relieved to be received at the airport by men holding signs, speaking their native tongue. They are informed that plans have changed, and instead of going to Virginia as planned, they will now be heading to Detroit, to work there and to perfect their English skills. Too tired and weary from their long flight to question the change, the girls board a bus to their new destination. When they arrive at the hotel, everything changes.

The door is closed behind them and they are told to sit down. Their passports and papers are confiscated. They are told, "you owe us big money for bringing you here". They are then handed strip clothes and informed that they will be working at a strip club called "Cheetahs" to pay back their debts.

They work 12 hour shifts and are subjected to mental, physical and sexual abuse for one year before they are finally rescued.

Now imagine that's a true story, because it is.

human trafficking:
the recruitment, transportation, harboring
or receipt of people for the purposes of labor and prostitution.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

But this is a people robbed and plundered;
they are all of them snared in holes
and hidden in houses of bondage.
They have become a prey, with no one to deliver them,
a spoil, with no one to say, Restore them!
Isaiah 42:22

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Most of the time I feel ill equipped to do anything about this issue. It is so large, and I have no formal education, you know with degrees and capital letters behind my name which qualify me to do something big... and substantial. When looking at this issue, I quickly become outraged and then frustrated, because I feel powerless to help.

Finally, I've discovered a way to help! And I do mean finally, because I feel like I've wanted to do something for so long now... even more since I first heard the words of Sara Grove's song, When the Saints...

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down that door

There's a campaign called The A21 Campaign. In their own words, their purpose is abolishing injustice in the 21st century. Particularly in the area of human trafficking. And I think that's pretty awesome.

I cannot think of a more worthy cause.

And y'all, you know what I love... that people are catching the vision - and offering me an outlet to DO something. Tigers Against Trafficking is a group that got started - that caught the vision - and they're hosting a 5K race at the end of this month. Every single dollar they bring in will go The A21 Campaign. Every single dollar. {Follow the link for more information}

But even if you think that's not for you, don't stop reading!

Not everyone can run that race, and not everyone can donate, but everybody can do something. Something that matters. Something substantial. And it's not just for people in this area. If you live on the globe, you can help. For a full list, click here. And to see if there are other ways to get involved in your area, click here.

I want to get my hands dirty in this. I want to have a part in seeing these people delivered and restored!

And now, FINALLY, I can!

We are called, y'all. Called to care. And true compassion demands action. So that's what I'm doing.

And I am fired up!

I may run that whole 3 miles.

King of Glory, have Your glory!

Colorful Insults

"You are lower than a hog's belly."

"You are so low you have to look down to look up."

"You got no more sense than a boiled egg."

"If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."

"You nasty, yellow-bellied, sneakin', lyin', pestiliferous scorpion!"

"You monstracious, cockeyed, good-for-nothing, snaggletoothed gaub of fat!"

"You egg-suckin', sheep-stealin', toad-eatin', frog-hearted, flop-eared groundhog!"

"You filthy, turtle-backed, snake-headed, bowlegged ton and a half of soap grease!"

...Because calling people names should be fun!

Jodie.....

I recently saw this meme and thought it would be a whole lotta fun! You, too, may play this ridiculous game by googling "your name + given phrase" and then post the nonsensical results. Game on!

Jodie looks like.....
Jodie looks like a big monkey. Hahahaha! That makes me laugh!
Jodie looks like a young. Intuitive... *squints eyes and becomes paranoid and suspicious* ...since I used to BE a YOUNG.
Jodie looks like she is so happy to be a new mom, it is a little weird to see her all grown up. Yeah, being all grown up is a little weird from where I'm standing, too.

Jodie likes.....
Jodie likes to jump off the boat mid-conversation. Untrue. I do not like jumping off of boats.
Jodie likes her crisps and chocolate. I'm not sure what crisps are but they do sound delicious. I probably DO like them. And yes, Jodie likes her chocolate.
Jodie likes Leona Lewis. Oddly enough, I only know one of her songs, and it has been trapped in my head for the past 3 days... I've been humming and singing it just about everywhere I go. I've now reached the point where if you cut me open I keep bleeding Bleeding Love.

Jodie says.....
Jodie says hello. I do!! I'm powerful pleased to see you! Come in a while and rest ya face! Put yourself level on a chair and stay some more!
Jodie says no to surgery. No she don't. I like surgery actually. Surgery is my friend. It made getting my children to the outside of my body a possibility and I welcomed that wholeheartedly!
Jodie says "at da start of da song is it a different language?? Its confusing!!" Yes, yes, that is exactly something I might say.

Jodie wants.....
Jodie wants to be posh. If by posh you mean smart and elegant and fashionable, then why yes. Yes, I do. I want to be posh.
Jodie wants to play. Mmmhm. I know das real. {And there went posh, right out the window!}
Jodie wants to dance! ...all she wants to do is dance! (And she'd like to be good at it too, if it's not too much to ask.... and um, evidently it is.)

Jodie does.....
Jodie DOES NOT RULE! Alright, alright... don't have to be so hostile.
Jodie does it again. I'm not at all sure what to say about this.
Jodie does not have Multiple Personality Disorder. No, she does not. I know, because I just asked her.

Jodie hates.....
Jodie hates her life and looks, but when she wakes up one morning as a stegosaurus things are even worse. Zut alors! This is terrible! My request must've gotten lost in the mail!! I asked to be a UNICORN, not a STEGASAURUS! Somebody get my people on the phone!
Jodie hates numbers. Oooh, indeed I do. Numbers really expose how unsmart I actually am. I've been known to be over-exuberant about payday because I may have miscalculated by a few tens or hundreds of dollars.
Jodie hates the world. Define "the world" and then we can talk some more about this.

Jodie can.....
Jodie can protect herself. Aw yeah! "When I'm hungry I bites the noses off livin' grizzly b'ars!"
Jodie can can be reached by email. Truer words have never been spoken. {Well, maybe they have, but them words right there are really, really, truly true.}
Jodie can be found playing in and around the NYC area. Why yes I can! Late June, you can find me there! And you can also find me in and around the area of DELIGHTED!

Jodie goes.....
Jodie goes out clubbing. No she do not.
Jodie goes to Paris. Oooh really! When? I want to know when?! I need to brush up on my French and start eating beignets and cwoissan's!
Jodie goes home. Home Sweet Home - there's no place like it.

Jodie is.....
Jodie is back. And forth. (I don't know, people. Nothing else comes to mind.)
Jodie is doing very well. I would drop the "very" and call it good.
Jodie is a naturally talented decorator, who creates beautiful solutions to every room in your home. This is false. I am not a "naturally talented" decorator. I wish this were true of me but alas, it is not. I'm still learning how to marry my styles which I think is something like Romantic Country meets Rustic Cottage Something Or Other.

Jodie loves.....
Jodie loves losing clothes. ...It's like Google doesn't even know me.
Jodie loves adam 4eva. Um, sike. (Or is it psych?) But she does love Stretch 4life! Because he is:

2cute
+2b
____
4gotten

Jodie loves the outdoor life. Yes she really does, as long as The Outdoor Life doesn't actually get on her.

Awww, see? Wasn't that fun?! Now go do yours so I can read that!
And have a happy weekend y'all!

Dually Noted

Note to self:

When swapping books on PaperBack Swap, double-check to make sure that the book you are swapping is, in fact, yours, and not one on loan from someone else. In doing so, you may buffer yourself against high shame, and also having to pay a high price to replace a book which is now out of print.

*sigh*

Duty Calls

Do what you love.
Know your own bone;
gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it and gnaw it still.
Thoreau

I know I've posted lots of quotes lately.
I can't help myself... they're too good to not share.

And besides that, I am (self-proclaimed) WordGirl, am I not?
I'm doing my duty.

Why I Love Sisters

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves
and very much not ourselves ---
a special kind of double.

Silly little cubby all stuffed with fluff...

The spring has sprung
The grass is rizz
I wonder where them birdies is.
- Winnie the Pooh

...willy nilly silly old bear.

Open Season

I used to run.

I miss running.

With spring around the corner I have a stronger and stronger urge to just get out there and run. I want to load up my iPod with new music --- music that compels me to move --- and run until I don't want to run anymore. I think getting to that point would take a while, and that makes me happy, because I want to be out there as long as I can.

I love running--- it allows me to get to go into a world where no one else lives... the way that being under water seems to affect other people. It's like I've stuck my head into another time and space. Running makes me feel really alive --- like I'm sucking the marrow out of life --- it puts me in touch with a part of myself that seems off limits until I'm out there, in my body.

Even while I run and I feel like my lungs are crushing me from the inside I keep going and I keep telling myself, "I am a runner. I am a runner. I am a runner."

And I am.

I'm just out of season.

I signed up for a small group at our church though; a running group. For three months, we'll run every Saturday morning, training to run a 5K together.

Already I'm feeling like a runner again. And I can't wait to breathe in the sun.

{{ideal warm up - crescendo - cool down}}

Sick House

Over the course of the past two weeks, my kids have taken turns being sick with a myriad of symptoms, varying from fever to sore throat to hacking coughs to wheezing and even tossing their groceries on occasion.

I am not a throw up person. I can change any diaper my children can conjure up, but the smell of throw up makes it difficult for me to swallow. [Just like breathing when we drive over road kill. Ugh! I fear I'll get the taste of that stench in my mouth.]

I especially have a low tolerance for hot dog throw up and today, I got to face that fear head on.

Today's round of puke landed partially on me---my clothes and my bare feet.

Yeah, soak that in baby.

I am now back in my pajama pants, because I am that ready to crawl back into my bed. Too bad it's only 1 o'clock.

Oh well, at least I have nap time to look forward to --- even if I'm not the one partaking in that sweet, sweet slumber.

And now, I think I need another Diet Coke.

Edited to add:
PS - Who is "Gazelle Enthusiast"? Reveal your secret identity. Please? :)

Edited again to add:
Thank you "Gazelle Enthusiast" for making yourself known. I never would've known it was you, Stretch. And you know that would've just bothered me. :)

Weekend Getaway, Part Deux: Stellar Saturday

Top o' the morning, at 8 o'clock, coffee was delivered to our room. Cute, little, tiny coffee.

The little handles on the cups were so tiny you had to pinch them. There was no way you were getting a finger through that hole.

Clearly, I needed that little "spot" of coffee... looks like I'd had a long night, whatwith all the thoughts of REDRUM and all.

{A few of you mentioned The Shining in yesterday's comments... um yeah, that's what I was thinking too.}

After breakfast we took the house tour, which I really enjoyed. We got our learn on; the lady who lead the tour was quite knowledgeable. Here are a few of my favorite photos from the tour.

The Calling Card Table

I had never seen a Calling Card Table before, but I love the sentiment behind it. I love most things about that time period. I love the idea of having a family "call upon you" at your home... Things are so different now, and sure I could recreate alot of that in my own home, but I know you would all think I was a freak, plus I may have mentioned a time or sixty, I am a bit lazy. I would however, love to live in a home where all these things were done FOR ME TO ENJOY. That would be splendid. By the way, the upholstery you see on that chair is the original, and it dates back to the 1890s.

Other things we saw that I had never seen before were: knife urns, a humidor and fire screens (to keep beeswax makeup from melting right off the ladies' faces).

I loved this sofa.

And this carriage!!

They even had the Bill of Sale.
How much do you think all of THAT is worth on the Antiques Road Show?!
Well over $1,075 I'd bet, which is what they paid for it.

After the tour, we decided to hit the town. For a second helping of nachos. We tried to see what Death by Nachos felt like. Turns out it feels delicious. But we didn't die.

Or did we?

Hmmm.

After nachos and burgers and maybe even some shrimp & okra gumbo, we went back to the house for a nap. Understandably so. After we woke up, we took a stroll around the home's extensive property.

What remains of an old greenhouse


Stretch's postcard shot of the rickety old wooden bridge
(now complete with steel reinforcements, Thank You Jesus)

My head is down because I'm looking for steel bars that ensure my footing.
I do NOT do my own stunts.

A gazelle we saw late in the afternoon.

So, here's the final breakdown:

tiny coffee + delightful house tour + more nachos + the best Greek/Lebanese meal I've ever had at our favorite place with NO RESERVATIONS on Valentine's night + a full love tank from a fantastic time with my Valentine = Stellar Saturday

We came home Sunday feeling refreshed and connected.

And that my friends, is a very, very good thing. Stellar, actually.

Weekend Getaway, Part Un: Freaky Friday

Stretch whisked me away for the weekend. We had planned to go to one place and he (sneaky little thing) surprised me with an announcement that we were not in fact going to that place, we were going to a different place. A bed and breakfast. He knows that those words are my love language.

I will not disclose the name of the place though, because I want to speak freely about our experience there. And let me just get that out in the open right now... it was an experience.

I'm so glad he took me there!

Also, I have to break this down into two days. Each day deserves its own space. You will soon understand why.

Okay so here we go.

Freaky Friday.

I learned something new about myself. I do not like going into new, unfamiliar territory under the cover of night. Especially if that territory is set back into the woods and involves a wooden bridge. That right there, is a recipe for the booboo jeebies. Oh, and I got 'em.

We pulled up to the place and were greeted by a woman to check us in and show us to our room. It did not go unnoticed that there was a rather large (perhaps half-gallon) bottle of Jack Daniels on the kitchen counter.

We were then lead up a long, narrow staircase.

At the top of that staircase, we hooked a right (because we were in the East Wing) and found ourselves facing the longest, most narrow and also most creepy hallway I have ever seen. Located at the far (dark) end of that hallway, was a door. Actually, the hallway was flanked on both ends by identical doors. Standing smack in the middle of those doors, at the top of the stairway, I realized I was more than a little scared to be where we were.

Now you tell me that doesn't freak you out just a little bit and I will tell you, YOU my friend ARE A LIAR!

But all was not lost.

We settled into our rooms and found this beautiful little sweet treat.

We also found that we didn't know how to lock the doors. Great. Freaky Factor skyrocketing by the second. I'm not going to the bathroom by myself in here.

Meanwhile, other guests are arriving (PRAISE THE LORD) and we were joking about the Jack Daniels lady. I heard her coming up the stairs and said, "Go ask her how to lock the door!!" And then, just for good measure, I added, "Go ask Jack Daniels. Go ask Jackie." {Cause you know, I thought I was so funny, giving her such a clever nickname.}

Well, Stretch opens the door and as this clearly intoxicated woman is descending the stairs he says, "Ma'am, um, Mrs. Jackie, could you tell me how to lock our door?"

Well, I 'bout lost it! I was, as we say, crezzin'- stifling my uncontrollable laughter by burying my face in the bed sheets. It should also be noted that the backside of our bed was the same wall that ran alongside the staircase, so basically what I'm saying is, "Mrs. Jackie" was standing pretty much right behind me when Stretch said that.

To this day, we don't know that woman's real name. We just call her Jackie. But we do know, because she told us, that we were not dressed fancy enough to eat at the Oxbow Restaurant (which is unfortunate because we later found out that the décor there was somethin' else.)

We made it through the night without incident. I prayed y'all. A bunch. Because girlfriend was frightened. I was glad to know Jesus, but I was still some. scared.

And that concludes Friday.

Tomorrow's post, Stellar Saturday. Look for it.

It was really that good. You know, good enough for a "stellar" rating.

For me anyway. See ya then!

{Verbs & Nouns}

I finally got some pictures posted on my other blog, {Verbs & Nouns}.

Feast your eyes mah deahs..

The Useless Trivia, It Just Keeps Flowing

This has been going around Facebook like a stomach bug. Everybody's catching it! People are tagging and being tagged LEFT and RIGHT! But I ain't gon' lie, I like it.

25 Random Stuffs About Me

1 I love laughing. It's my favorite.

2 I'm noticing more and more lines on my face. Smile lines around my eyes, creases in my forehead from a furrowed brow, and these 2 lines { || } just above the bridge of my nose that look like a pause symbol. Most of those lines are just proof that I fret.

3 I love typing. I used to phantom-type words on my legs while I was talking to people. Fancy fidgeting.

4 I lived in a halfway house for 9 months, and I believe it was instrumental in saving my life.

5 I can't decide if I'm more introverted or extroverted.

6 I hate the hunter green/burgundy/navy blue color combo.

7 I have a tattoo. I wish I had been more particular about my choice though --- it should've been a unicorn.

8 I miss singing, but I'm terrified to start up again.

9 I won a Spelling Bee when I was in the 4th grade. Spelling excites me.

10 I have my own blog that I want everyone to read and know about {and love}, and then I get all nervous when I find out people I know are reading and knowing about it.

11 I love that I know how to sew, knit, cross-stitch and embroider. {Oh yeah, and decoupage.---that's for you Holly!}

12 I also love: paper, chocolate mint, gift wrap, swans and rabbits.












13 My love for swans is a recent development. SWANS, of all things. Coulda been worse, I suppose. I could've developed as obsession with leg warmers, and that would just be tragic and unfortunate.

14 I do not have a green thumb. I have killed, in my lifetime, two (2) cacti. (And yeah, I know, no one says cacti but cactuses sounds sooo duuumb.)

15 I miss ballet so, so much.

16 I suck at time management. I am what you might call "of the lazy persuasion".

17 I love nesting---and I also like birds and nests, which is not directly related... Danny says I like the nests&birds so much because he's part egret.


18 I am a word NERD. I love language. I would love to take a class that requires nothing of me but to diagram sentences ALL. DAY. LONG. Just the thought makes my heart beat a little faster.

19 I did not graduate from college. I "took off a semester" to get married and never went back. And now I have all these kids... but I'm okay with that.

20 I used to swim in the ditch when I was little. I also used to walk a tight rope between 2 trees in my backyard.

21 I know how to cut a sweet trail with a machete.











22 I have no friends that I can trace back to the beginning of my life. Only family. Too much moving, and too little connecting.

23 I tend to think of the glass as half empty.

24 I feel very fortunate to have people in my life that teach me truth and give me grace.

25 I love Pride & Prejudice and wish I lived in that era, except with plumbing. "...it's all very (veddy) vexing... I am quite put out!"

A Smattering of Good Words

If you don't like laughing really hard, don't read this. Otherwise, by all means, carry on {my wayward son}. [sorry]

Antique Mommy wrote a fantastic parenting analogy. It is SPOT ON! If you are a parent, you will love this. I just know it. And I believe that you will agree wholeheartedly!

Lastly, what Sue wrote about morning routines is fantastically funny! Trust me, it's funnier than that sentence makes it sound. I promise. It is SO VERY worth your time, because you will relate and you will laugh... if you have little ones to ship off to school that is.

Okay, off you go!

([{something something something something)]}

Before I begin with today's scheduled program, let me just say that y'all are the best! Turns out most of my peeps are regulars, which just makes me so happy. :) I am always glad for new people to love me {of course} but I love my faithfuls. And might I just add, y'all are some entertaining people! I just love what food items you'd like to have "on tap", in the case that you were able to {sweet mercy from Heaven} dispense something from your navel. Y'all are so fun!

OH! And Tracy G --- I have no other way to contact you, so please forgive me for saying this publicly: I just had to tell you Thank You for stalking me! That makes ME smile! And girl, you are so very brave [and you're also my new hero]... I cannot believe that you took your 4 YOUNG CHILDREN across so many state lines camping. In my mind, I think that that would really be a blast and aLOT 'o fun, but it also terrifies me. You are an inspiration to us all! :)

Lately, days and days pass between postings. I wish that weren't so, but my brain seems to be thinking only short thoughts. Things that if posted beg for a list format.

Such as:

{{Every time I say that, the next thing to pop into my mind is: the Iraq}}

1. Heather Bullard's site. When I found her blog, I could not move from my chair. Page after page after page... I couldn't turn away. Seriously, I wish I could make my house look like hers--with so apparent little effort of the mind. She makes it look easy. [says in airy voice...] It's sooo beautifuuuullll...I swear to you, never before have I seen so many things I JUST LOVE in one collective place. So much loveliness. She has a gift that I covet.
2. Got a new journal. So promising. So intimidating.
3. Got a new vacuum. The beginning of my relationship with a new vacuum is always so hopeful. So far, I am smitten. I've found lost toys with that vacuum. That is some serious suction action.
4. I keep trying to think of a way to incorporate more pink into our home.
5. Why is it so easy to know what I love when I see it, and yet have such difficulty just creating what I love?
6. I've considered doing the Project 365 thing but I just reeeaaallly do not want to commit. I am resistant to anything regimented or required of me on a daily basis. HOWEVER, I would like to have a general documentation of our year in photos. I'd like to look back over that as time goes on, and remember things I might've otherwise forgotten. So then, after a few days of deliberating, I have created Verbs & Nouns. {You may (or may not) have noticed that I changed the name. Initially I had created Hotchpotch Goulash, but I found myself liking it less and less... So I deleted it, and created instead, Verbs & Nouns: Because sometimes life moves. And sometimes it stands still.} T'aint much to look at yet, but soon, I'll start posting photos. Soon is a relative term, of course.
7. Do tiny tornadoes pass through my house while my back is turned at the sink? [ah, Who am i kidding? The computer] Every day?
8. Yes, they must.
9. How else does all this mess happen?
10. Maybe, just maybe, it's three tornadoes. Three very short ones, since all of the mess seems to land on the floor.
11. Yes, that's probably what happens.
12. I can't seem to find just the thing to tie my whole bathroom together. In my mind though, whatever it is, I think it must be red. I cannot make peace with that room until it is complete. And complete, it is not.
13. I need to improve my preparation of vegetables. Love them as I may, I still fall short in tasty preparation. And you know, variety.
14. I have a punctuation issue. I have trouble deciding between (), [], and {}. 'Course I like 'em all - I'm just trying to settle on a favorite --- for consistency's sake.
15. I have the messiest baby in all the land. {Yes, I do.}
16. I tend to nest a few times a year. Sometimes it's decorating, sometimes it's cleaning or organizing. Currently, it's all of that, with particular focus on putting things in containers. (Sidenote: I do not balk at spending money on earrings or any variety of fun items, but looking at the cost spent on organizing always feels too high. Why all the resistance to something that makes me feel so good when things are tidy?)
17. Stretch just ordered the P90X. I hope to amaze myself. And I also hope to not disappoint myself. And yes, those are two separate distinctions.

Show Yourself! (I already heart you)

I missed it again! Last year I missed it and I swore that the next time it came around, I would not be caught half-steppin' and yet here I am. 10 days late for my favorite online holiday. [I didn't always have a favorite online holiday but when I found out about Delurking Day, then suddenly, my favorite emerged, with no effort at all.]

Thankfully, the cute little graphic doesn't contain a date - only a year - so if I hadn't ousted myself, you might not know how very late I am in celebrating! And I don't use the word celebrating lightly. I celebrate your presence here. You're very important to me. Truly, you are.

So, if you've been coming here for a while [or even if you're brand-spankin' new], today you have to tell me in the comment section that you've been stalking me. ;) And you really do have to(PLEASE!), because it's a holiday! And besides, it would just make my day. I'd love you like I love Wild Cherry Pepsi.

If you don't know what you might say, maybe you could answer a question.

Here, I'll provide you with some options:
(1) If you could dispense any condiment from your navel, what would it be? It's really a toss up for me--chocolate or buffalo sauce. I love them both immensely.
(2) What book, other than the Bible, has influenced you greatly? Two books top my list. Inside Out by Larry Crabb and The Shack by William Young (which tragically, I almost didn't finish)
(3) When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I love this question, but I really had to think back... seems I haven't stretched myself in a while. ...well, I booked a trip to NYC in June. [Okay, I know that's puny. Really, really puny. But nothing else comes to mind! Ask me again in July and I can say - I WENT TO NEW YORK! BOO-YA!]

Okay, your turn! Go! Expose yourself! I see you anyway. See that little sitemeter icon way down at the bottom of this page? I'm watching you... ;)

The Honest Truth

The other day I asked my Sweet Pickle, "Do you think these jeans make Mama look fat?"

[Right here, you're probably thinking, what is wrong with her?! I asked because I really wanted to know. I know that he adores me to the skies and loves me to the moon and back and back again, and I also know that if I really want his assessment, I can ask him. He'll tell me.]

So I asked my 5 year old because I wanted an honest opinion that I could believe.

[I couldn't ask Stretch because that's never a safe question for the husband. It's cruel and unusual punishment. He can't win that. If he says no, he's obviously lying (because we never believe their compliments, or our mother's). But who in his right mind says yes?! An evil and cruel and horrid man who would be thenceforward banished to the wastelands forever.]

"Um, yeah, a little," saith my Sweet Sweet Pickle.

"Where?"

He walks up behind me, slaps me on my left cheek and then my right, saying "here, and here." Then he walks around the front and slaps me once on each thigh and says again, "here, and here."

He was quite nice about it, too - jaunty and with a smile in his voice. Not even a hint of mean--not a shred. Which makes me love his openness that much more.

He's my Mirror Mirror on the Wall. My lie detector.

If only he was as reliable when there's an altercation between himself and his seester....

Twitter. It's dead to me.

Twitter. Another word for WASTE MY TIME LIFE SUCKING DEVICE.

Because I'm a sucker for such devices, I signed up [because I didn't want to miss anything and be out of the loop, thereby making myself a loser blogger because I didn't know when other bloggers had gone to Target or drank a Caramel Macchiato or ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's] and promptly began neglecting it because' really? I don't care.

I really just don't care. The whole thing just makes me feel heavy and weighted down.

So about a week or two ago [I never really know how much time has passed], I tried to sign on so that I could just delete my account. I keep getting emails that soandso is now following me on Twitter, and I just think, poor fools, there's nothing to follow. Unless of course, someone hacked into my account (again) and there are some updates that I'm unaware of. Because like I was saying, I tried to sign on and it kept saying my signin/password were incorrect, so I contacted them for some technical support and the instructions they gave medidn't work.

Seems no one knows how to get me back in.

Doesn't matter though, because I have zero energy for twitter. I'm all tweeted out. If I could log on and update it today I'd probably say something like that... I'm all tweeted out. Peace Out. Shalomey Homies. And then I'd promptly delete my account.

But I can't do that. Because I can't log in.

I don't really have a clean way to wrap this up. I know a few of you were following me. Thank you for helping me to feel more popular, and I'm sorry there was never anything of consequence to follow.

This is my public announcement that I will be Twitter-ing no more. My official hasta luego, if you will.

And there ya have it.

Oui

I say no alot.

I've trained myself - to keep out pain, disappointment, hurt, rejection. I think we all know how that's turned out. And now what began with an enticing payoff has ended up costing me more than I like paying.

Still I hear myself saying it. Wanting to say it, and yet not wanting to say it, always wrestling.

I say no to my kids. No to myself. No to risk. No to intimacy. No to inconvenience and noise and stuff that make things messy. No to life.

I think though, that the part of me--the part that automatically, without thinking, says no--is on a slow train down a new track. There is something else in me, a far off voice saying yes...

I got some sweet cash for Christmas, and immediately started hunting down ways to spend it, because this girl loves stuff. I stumbled upon an Etsy store that became one of my major, major favorites. This girls jewelry looks like something from a fairy tale... something a woodland maiden (like me) would wear. One piece in particular though, grabbed me. I fell instantly in love. I saw it, I loved it. It's like we were meant to be together... me and Oui.

Photo: property of trystbykerry

Obviously I love it because it's French. I find that extremely charming. But beyond that, I get it. I know why I love it so. It reminds me of what to answer the invitations in my life with... invitations to play hard, and to do hard things.

Say yes, Jodie. No more of this Just Say No nonsense. Say oui.

That, and it's really, really pretty.

A Fluke

The strangest thing happened today. Trés bizarre.**

I was productive, and I mean, really productive. I got some stuff done.

I am, by nature, what one might call of the lazy persuasion. A slouch. I'd much rather sleep all day, only arising to ascertain something mighty delicious to chew or sip, and then go lay on the couch for a long nap afterwards.

That was not my day today. Or any day really. It's just what I aspire to.

Today though, was different from the usual strong résistance [say it with the accent] to get up from the computer chair. I didn't even sit in the chair until almost 11 and let me tell you, that is a feat. I couldn't sit though, because I had to get my house shipshape (or as they say in Danish, i fin orden) by noon because we were having a visitor--a contractor/builder-person-man who would do a walk-through, even into my bedroom.

[Just to illustrate the task set before me, let me tell you a quick story. Last week, I lost My Precious. Maybe you've seen it before? If you've seen me, you've seen it because I wear it almost as often as I wear my skin. My gray sweater coat. Lost it. I LOST IT! I called here and there and everywhere - even to places I KNEW I hadn't brought it because you know how you do that when you lose things. You lose your mind. Where, OH WHERE! could it be? What if it's gone forever?! I searched everywhere. You know where I finally found it? Mmhm, it was in my room. Buried deep beneath a mountainous mountain of other things.]

And so now you can clearly see what kind of pickin' up I had to be doin' in the span of 2 hrs. And I did it too! And you know what I thought about for the rest of the day? How good it felt to have such a clean house by noon.

I could've sat down all day, for the remainder of the afternoon, eatin' chips, and my house would've been fine. [Well... if I had tied up Puddin', that is, because that child is a MESS. I lost count of how many times I made him stop digging in the trash today. Or wiped up something he had spilled. He's like a little untrained puppy dog. If you've ever had one in your house, you know what I'm talking about. But dang, he's cute! ]

I did not sit down for the remainder of the day, though. Instead I decided to cook some stuff. Dinner was leftovers - some tasty vittles, too. So, I decided to try two new recipes. Homemade hot chocolate made with condensed milk hallelujah and amen, and I also tried my hand at marshmallows [or as I like to call them, Marthamallows].

I hope that tomorrow I can remember how good it felt to get all of that done today. But if that falls through, then maybe I can just settle for my "ideal day" as illustrated in paragraph three.

**And about all the French you're seeing here lately... I'm way smarter than y'all thought, huh? Or maybe I changed the settings? I really just wanted to see the date in French. The rest is lagniappe. They gave me that for free.**

Public Service Announcement

Y'all.

I went to WalMart this morning. I hate WalMart. But I can't stay away.

While there, I decided to peruse the women's clothing section. (Because I can never stay away from the Women's Clothing Section). Seems I'm always in need of new tops. Oddly enough, the Women's Top seems to be my fashion achilles heel. I can buy awesome Outerwear, Footwear and Accessories all day--no problem. The thing I always have a shortage of is good shirts. I was feeling pretty hopeless, like I had an innate inability to choose cute, affordable, well-fitted shirts. The only thing I felt confident buying was something very much like a gussied up t-shirt. Perhaps something with elbow length sleeves if I was going for "fancy".

And so I'm looking around, not finding much of anything. As usual. And then BAM! Out of nowhere I see this tiny section of CUTE shirts. I mean, these clothes were nice.

And nice is not usually my go-to word when I'm talking about the clothes at The Walmark.

Of course I don't love all of it, but I saw lots of stuff I'd like to have. Look at what I bought today. I think tomorrow I may go back for it in purple. WalMarks (with their trickery) won't let me copy their images, and so instead, I have to link to them. Crafty little devils.

The brand is called To The MAX.

Look for it. I mean, if you can tolerate long check-out lines, grim cashiers and a generally filthy store and parking lot, that is.

de janvier à décembre

I've said before that I'm bilingual. That I speak music. I think, rather, that the truth is that music speaks me.

This past year, as it is with every year, there are songs that fill the spaces in my mind and my heart. Songs that I hear God's voice in; songs that draw my voice from me.

And so, my year, in song... These words have been my anthem, and seeing them on paper, they seem to follow a theme.

de janvier à décembre

[Have I mentioned before that I love French? Because I do. I love French.]

[From the Inside Out - Hillsong United]
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out


[Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser]
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began


[You're Gonna Miss This - Trace Adkins]
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this


[Awakening - Switchfoot]
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating,
It's beating, I'm bleeding.
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating,
Is beating, Is beating, It's beating, I'm bleeding


[Desire - Phil Wickham]
I’m running through the gates of love, as fast as I can
I can’t wait to see You 'cause I’m a desperate man
You made the light and sent it down
to show us who You are
Now it’s bursting out my heart
My desire is burning like a million stars
And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You


[The Cut - Jason Gray]
My heart is laid
Under Your blade
As you carve out Your image in me
You cut to the core
But still you want more
As you carefully, tenderly ravage me
Mingling here
Your blood and my tears
As You whittle my kingdom away
But I see that you suffer, too
In making me new
For the blade of Love, it cuts both ways

And You peel back the bark
And tear me apart
To get to the heart
Of what matters most
I’m cold and I’m scared
As your love lays me bare
But in the shaping of my soul
They say the cut makes me whole

Hidden inside the grain
Beneath the pride and pain
Is the shape of the man
You meant me to be
Who with every cut now you try to set free
Come now, set me free


I'd like to see some more of this theme this year.

Less rules.
Less ceremony.
Less and less asleep.

More grace.
More desperation.
More whittling away of my kingdom.
More freedom.
More of the shape of the one I'm meant to be.