I've trained myself - to keep out pain, disappointment, hurt, rejection. I think we all know how that's turned out. And now what began with an enticing payoff has ended up costing me more than I like paying.
Still I hear myself saying it. Wanting to say it, and yet not wanting to say it, always wrestling.
I say no to my kids. No to myself. No to risk. No to intimacy. No to inconvenience and noise and stuff that make things messy. No to life.
I think though, that the part of me--the part that automatically, without thinking, says no--is on a slow train down a new track. There is something else in me, a far off voice saying yes...
I got some sweet cash for Christmas, and immediately started hunting down ways to spend it, because this girl loves stuff. I stumbled upon an Etsy store that became one of my major, major favorites. This girls jewelry looks like something from a fairy tale... something a woodland maiden (like me) would wear. One piece in particular though, grabbed me. I fell instantly in love. I saw it, I loved it. It's like we were meant to be together... me and Oui.
Photo: property of trystbykerry
Obviously I love it because it's French. I find that extremely charming. But beyond that, I get it. I know why I love it so. It reminds me of what to answer the invitations in my life with... invitations to play hard, and to do hard things.
Say yes, Jodie. No more of this Just Say No nonsense. Say oui.
That, and it's really, really pretty.