Word Up - It's Time to Get Wordy!

Word of the Day
I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences. Gertrude Stein

31 May 2008

That's a little something I like to call irony.

The Word of the Day today is ungainly: Lacking grace or ease of movement or form.

I just think that the timing of this is impeccable, given the previous post.

It's like even the Word of the Day is taunting me.

30 May 2008

Maybe I can work my way back to that kind of pulchritudinousness.

Well it has come to pass just as I have forseen it. You can just call me Yoda. An old high school teacher used to call me Jedi (you know, as a play on my name. Jodie. Anyway.) He was a very smart man who knew what he was talking about, because clearly, as anyone can see, the force is strong with This One.

Y'all remember my ballerina post from way back in the day? I have found (completely by accident, as I have forseen it) the photographic evidence I promised y'all back in early April. Evidence "that showcases my natural, inborn agility and poise". Y'all remember when I made the outrageous statement that I am a ballerina?


Well, here it is. What the world has been waiting for.

(click to enlarge)

I think it bears noting that I am NOT the cute one on the left. The one with the real grace and agility. (Because life is cruel.) No. I am the other one. The pregnant one wearing the ugly jeans and the legwarmers on the arms.

Also, I am a fashion travesty.

And I fear I may also be a ballet travesty. Which I find especially heartbreaking. *Insert long, sad sigh* I won't give up though. I really am hoping that there will come a day when I can do this more than once a week. I truly would love to get more training. Maybe then I'd start to look like a ballerina, and then that would help me to feel less discouraged. I still feel strongly about ballet though. I still love it, even though it doesn't seem to love me back.

A little unrequited love... it hurts every time.

I just thought that I had a promising future, what with all the pulchritudinousness documented in the above photo and everything (I totally stumbled on that word by accident, by the way (never even heard of it before), but then when I saw it, I had to use it. I had no idea what it meant, except that it was a synonym for beauty because I found it in the Thesaurus. When I looked up beauty. I learned that it means having qualities that delight the eye).

Maybe I'm not as bad as I think. I sure hope not. I just want to be a pretty dancer, and to enjoy dancing. And that's possible, right? Even for someone like me?

Just say yes.

29 May 2008

100 Things

In honor of my one-hundredth post, 100 things. (Because apparently I never tire of myself.) My gosh! Has it really been 100 posts? Already? REALLY?

Well, at any rate, here goes.

1 I was born in a small town and I've lived in small towns most of my life. (And now we'll all be singing John Mellencamp all day - and we're gonna like it.)
2 I have a twin sister, and two younger brothers.
3 I feel like a stranger to both of my brothers. And that is heart-wrenching.
4 My parents have been divorced since I was 2 years old. They both remarried, and divorced again.
5 I've been married for 6 years.
6 During the course of our marriage, my husband and I have both been the first to stop the cycle of lots of generational craziness that has been passed down for years.
7 I am an evangelical Christian.
8 I accepted Jesus as Savior of my pathetic life about 8 1/2 years ago.
9 My life has been, in many ways, harder since then.
10 It's also been WAY better!
11 When I was about 8 years old, I knew how to walk across a tightrope between two trees.
12 I had 3 most-favorite things to do outside when I was growing up (before I turned 9). They were:
  • Playing G.I. Joe - We'd (me, my sister, brother and cousin) build these awesome forts and caves, and dig "rivers" underneath my Nanny's house, then we'd fill them up with water. (The house was high enough off of the ground for us to sit under. So cool.) We ruined all of my Nanny's spoons digging those rivers.
  • Making mud pies under our house.
  • Making trails...which was really just cutting down weeds and small trees in the woods with machetes.
13 Yes, we played with machetes. Before my 9th birthday.
14 I lived with my Mom until I was nine. Then the summer before my 5th Grade year, I moved in with my Dad.
15 Life changed alot after that.
16 I wasn't happy again until I was 19.
17 Ten years later. (In the last year, I spent a month in rehab, 12 days in jail, and 9 months in a half-way house).
18 I believe God spared my life during that time so that He could later save it.
19 Growing up, my best friend was always my twin sister, because we have been through everything together.
20 Except for the year we were 18.
21 That year we hated each other. We fought desparately to be separate from each other. To be Jodie. And Jamie. Not JodieandJamie. We were very competetive (especially me), but I think it was mostly by nurture, not so much nature.
22 One day I realized I had no reason to be against her, and that I love her. We reconciled, and haven't fought since.
23 That was almost 10 years ago.
24 I knew I wanted to marry my husband within the first two weeks of knowing him.
25 I actually proposed within that time period, in a moment of happy emotional surge.
26 He laughed.
27 And then he said, "You can't propose to me. You're the girl."
28 He was right. And I totally wouldn't have gone through with anything that early anyway.
29 I was just happy.
30 And he was so hot I couldn't think clearly.
31 Later in our relationship, I prayed that we would get married.
32 Actually, that's not what I prayed.
33 I said this: God, if he doesn't want to marry me, make him want to marry me.
34 He did. We got married about a year later. It was the happiest day of my life - I laughed the whole time! Everyone else cried.
35 Our recessional song (when we were walking out of the church) was the Star Wars theme song.
36 No, I'm not kidding.
37 No, I don't regret that.
38 It actually still makes me smile when I think about it. I'm glad we did that.
39 We did not dance at our reception.
40 I am not glad that we did that.
41 If we ever renew our vows, there will definitely be dancing.
42 We honeymooned in Waimanalo, Oahu. A sleepy little town that I have missed desparately since we left.
43 While there, I fell in love with fresh pineapple and plumeria flowers.
45 But not so much with snorkling, as having my face underwater causes me to panic.
46 I just had Stretch take pictures of what he was seeing so that I could enjoy it later.
47 I really like stuff. I try not to be a stuff hog. I'm self-controlled on the outside. I wrestle with it in my head though.
48 There are lots of "stuffs" though, that I don't ever want to own.
49 Like Crocs.
50 Or Mama jeans.
51 Or a graphing calculator.
52 I got no use for a graphing calculator.
53 I would like to have a collection of Mad Libs though.
54 And nesting dolls.
55 Also, I love unicorns.
56 And if I ever had to stop being a girl, and be an animal instead, I would be so excited about being a unicorn.
57 It's what I've always wanted.
58 Never a dolphin.
59 Like I said, face under water = panic.
60 Ohhhh, but to have a glittery horn, and some pretty wings? That would rock!
61 I guess that's kind of like a cross between a unicorn and a Pegasus. So what would you call that? A unisus? A Pegacorn? A Pega-uni-susa-corn? (Ohhh, I hate having to tell y'all this, but I just have to. I would love to lay claim on the awesomeness of that phrase and say that it's from my vault of stellar wit, but I gotta tell y'all so that I can sleep tonight, I totally stole that from WordGirl. I am a total thief. I can't help it if I've never had an original thought and I'm not as cool as Becky Botsford).
62 Anyway.
63 Stretch and I have had 3 kids in the first 5 years of our married life.
64 I don't recommend that.
65 It tends to put a tiiiny bit of stress on young, budding love.
66 :)
67 When I'm typing, that is the symbol I use the most. :)
68 And never LOL.
69 Because it irks me.
70 After we had our first son, I thought I was a master Mama. I thought, What's all the fuss about? This isn't difficult. People need to stop trippin'. Come on people. Stop trippin'!
71 Then we had our second child. And then our third.
72 And now I know better.
73 And I'm much more gracious with other Mama's. And the world is a happier place.
74 I once had a job selling knives.
75 Cutco.
76 I don't know what I was thinking.
77 And for the life of me, I cannot remember how I even got involved in that...
78 I did get some sweet knives out of the deal though.
79 I've tried selling a few different things and always quit after a few months or so.
80 I always hated it.
81 I was just in it for the free stuff I guess. See #47.
82 Now I have the pleasure of being able to stay home with my sweet babies, and watch them grow and learn with my own eyes.
83 There is no better job than that for me.
84 I feel incredibly blessed to be able to do that.
85 Also, I feel like God has set up some amazing friendships in my life that I am unspeakably grateful for. People who help me to appreciate my different roles, who make me laugh, who really and truly warm my heart.
86 And yet still, I often neglect them.
87 And I'm sorry about that.
88 Relationships are the most difficult and messiest part of life for me.
89 But they're also the best part.
90 I am olive-complected but I've been out of the sun for so long that twice in the past 6 weeks or so people have referred to me as fair-complected and that totally horrifies me.
91 I second-guess myself alot.
92 I think I'm alot better on paper. Because of editing.
93 Meeting people for the first time always terrifies me. I usually feel like a social misfit.
94 I am anti-fluoride and pro-probiotics.
95 I'm in love with Mr. Darcy.
96 I take a ballet class at the gym and I love it. I hope that one day soon they'll offer child care at the dance studio so I can quit the gym and just go there instead.
97 One day, I want to go to Holland and buy armloads of flowers in an open flower market, and then put them in a large basket on the front of my bike, and ride back to my cottage-style bed and breakfast where my husband and I will be spending 2 weeks (at least).
98 One year for summer vacation, (I was young enough to still wear a fanny pack, which to this day makes me second-guess my fashion sense, and it also makes me quite certain I'll never appear as a guest host of What Not to Wear) I got left behind. We were at a Dinosaur Museum/Exhibit/Thing. I left the van (after the headcount) to go back into the giftshop for a shiny, rock keychain. I was an avid keychain collector at the time, and so naturally, I had to have it. It was totally worth not being able to feed the ducks at Hot Springs. See again, #47.
99 This summer, I'll very likely be getting braces. Again. The first time I was fortunate enough to wear them through puberty. Along with ugly glasses and bad bangs. This time I'll get to wear them in my 30s. I'm a lucky girl.
100 If you have taken the time to read this entire list (which took me days to compile), you are probably one of my faithful readers. Thank you. Both of you. My new BFFs. And now you know alot of useless trivia about me. Consider yourself illuminated. LOL

27 May 2008

You "stretch" my heart.

Stretch started his new job yesterday. This past weekend we wanted to have some time together, just the two of us. A date. We went and ate sushi at our favorite sushi spot, and then on to Starbucks. It's sort of a tradition for us. And it was so good just being us two. We hadn't had a real date in a long time. We talked about it over the best sushi rolls in the universe, and we figured out it had been since January. Unless our memories fail us. Which is a possibility. The point is, it was sorely needed. We missed each other.

At Starbucks, he surprised me with this!

It's ceramic! It has the little check boxes!!! And it has this message on the bottom: Careful, the beverage you're about to enjoy is extremely hot. That last shot may be too blurry to read. That's because my photography skillz are magical. Anyway. My new mug? I. love. it.

I had seen that cup at our last Starbucks visit (for Holly's birthday) and it was lurve at first sight. That man, he is awesome! I love you, my t'reasure.

{{Let me count ze ways. Uno, dos, tres, quatro. I am now done wiss ze counting.}}

  • You are a caring provider who is better at talking than I am; I love that about you.
  • You are completely in love with Jesus - which makes it easier for me to follow you as the leader of our household; I love that about you.
  • You always surprise me; I love that about you.
  • You wash dishes and clothes; I love that about you.
  • You keep our yard looking beautiful so that we can all enjoy it; I love that about you.
  • You never leave things between us unresolved for long; I love that about you.
  • You are ambitious and driven; I love that about you.
  • You talk AND you listen; I love that about you.
  • You make me feel pretty; I love that about you.

I am lucky to have you. Not that luck has anything to do with it.

I'm so glad that God made you want to marry me.

Apparently no amount of delight can make up for dimness.

At the end of the day, the day of The Marathon, my brain failed me. Again. I've been worked up for days and days about two hours in a row of Becky and Huggy. And what happens? I forgot. It totally befuddles me that I can experience a delight that cannot be contained, and then miss out on the event that caused such exuberance (yes, I have a Thesaurus, and I use it at will). How is it, how can it be, that by the end of the day I could have zero brain capacity (ZERO) to even remember to turn on the TV.

I am ashamed.

26 May 2008

The delight, it cannot be contained.

delight - a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture
contain - to keep under proper control; restrain

If you are fortunate enough, that is, if Providence shines down on you from the heavens like it does on us, then this will apply to you, too! Today, on PBS (LPB in our area) there is a WordGirl Marathon. Two hours! From 3:00 - 5:00. Is it in your area, too? And what's more!? Starting tomorrow, WordGirl will air every weekday at 4:00 instead of only on Friday's! For a word nerd, that is great news people. Great news.

I mean, who couldn't use more of this face in their lives? That my friends, is Captain Huggyface. He's fierce. And he can eat meat faster than any butcher can throw it. Now that's useful.

And he dances, too. Here's a video for your viewing pleasure. And mine. :)

Holly's 30th Birthday. AKA, Happy Birthday to me.

Two Thursdays ago, it was my dawg Holly's 30th birthday. Her husband, D Piddy, planned an awesome day for her. Holly is a big Survivor fan and D Piddy did this whole Survivor theme. The day was set up like a "reward" and all of her instructions were typed out on Parchment paper, rolled up and tied with a hiking boot shoestring. Like Tree Mail. (If you don't watch the show, none of this is making any sense right now. What I'm trying to say is, it was so. very. cool!)

Three of us met Holly for lunch and we ate until we almost burst, and we gave her her gifts. What Holly didn't know was that P Diddy was planning a surprise party for her at her house that night. We gave her gifts at lunch to get her off the trail, in case she had picked up a scent of more shenanigans later in the day.

So she got some sweet gifts, mostly stuff for her new house they just bought. I gave her a pottery fish to hang on her wall (which she later thanked me for because now she could "represent" to her guests). I love that girl. :) I also gave her a few magnets I made. She was all, I didn't know you could decoupage. I was like, what? And she said, Yeah, that's what this is. And I was all, Are you sure? I just glued the river rocks to a piece of paper and then hotglued a magnet on the back. And please don't make me explain it. It makes it sound all lame. So we went back and forth like that for a second and she insisted it was decoupage, and that I knew how to do that. I had no idea. I'm still not entirely sure what decoupage means. I'll have to google it.

When people see what I make, they say things like, "You're so creative" and I really have a hard time with that. I want to just say thank you and move on, but I can't. Because I don't know that I've ever had a truly original thought. Everything I make, I got the idea from somewhere else. A book. A website. It's always somebody else's idea. I think my skill is that I can copycat. Is that a true skill? I don't think it is.

Anyway, I digress. Back to Holly. So we're wrapping up lunch and Holly gets another Tree Mail. She reads it to herself and starts laughing. Well, of course we want to see it too, and she says, I was gonna let y'all read it, but I can't wait. I'm just gonna read it to y'all. It says something like, Gather all of your belongings, and you and your fellow Tribe of Judah mates head to Europe Spa where you will receive a one hour massage, a one hour facial, and a one hour mud wrap. Your fellow tribe mates, will receive a one hour massage and a 30-min hand and foot treatment. Don't worry about the children. Your husbands have made arrangements for them for the remainder of the afternoon. You are not due back home until 5:30. (We met for lunch at 1:30) I just looked at Holly and exclaimed (yes, exclaimed. It was a very surprised and sorta loud exclamation) WHAT?!! And then I smiled for the rest of the afternoon. Our men had outdid theyselves. And I was some kinda happy! :)

So off we went. TO THE SPA! I was like, well Happy Birthday to us. The massage was fantastic. And I'm sort of a massage snob because Stretch's mom is a massage therapist. The BEST massage therapist. She hath spoileth me rotteneth. But this girl was good, too. I felt relaxed with her, which is a big deal when you're mostly naked with a stranger. I liked her, though. We chatted during my foot treatment and got to know each other a little better. During the massage, I fell asleep, which NEVER happens, unless it's a hot stone massage. Then I cannot help but succumb to the power of the heat. I'm useless against their power. It's my kryptonite. Anyway. It was a great afternoon.

Afterwards, I met my sweet surprise-laden husband for coffee at Starbucks. I smiled alot. And then we went to D Piddy and Holly's for the surprise party and a good time was had by all. I think one of the highlights of the night was watching Holly's Mama take pictures of Holly with all of her gifts. One picture per gift. Priceless. We just watched and laughed. It was awesome. :) Cajun people are funny like that. We also always take pictures of the food. Always. Especially at weddings, and sometimes at funerals. I have also heard of people taking pictures by the casket at the wake. Open casket. I know some of those people personally. She's one of my favorite people, in fact. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOLLY! You are a peach, and I love you!

23 May 2008

I'd like to build myself a home and furnish it with love... and this stuff.

Kitchen happies:
I really don't need another creamer/sugar bowl, but I just love these. It's really a sickness with me. I have to restrain myself from collecting dishes. But how can I help myself when there's stuff like this to be had?! Those pink glasses make me salivate, and the pitcher is ceramic gleefulness (it makes me full of exultant joy; merry; delighted)!

My living room walls are the color of those yellow canisters. It's called Midnight Bonfire and I love it! Right now my curtains are solid chocolate brown, which is exactly what I wanted at first, but now I'm ready for a change... Something more cottage-y; something more airy. I like both of these.

Also, I think these tiles would look cool over the double window behind our couch.

And the rest of these lovelies? I heart them.

I especially LOVE these candle holders. I am totally taken in by the look of mercury glass. I LOVE IT!!!!

And who can resist these birds? Ohh, not I.

I've seen bell jars like these in magazines over tiny nests with little blue eggs resting inside. I love these! They really work for me.

To this, I would also like to add an extensive collection of nesting dolls. These are all from Russian Legacy.

Life of Jesus:

Forest Fairies:

Going to the Fair: (These ladies are so beautiful!)

Summer in the Village of Fedoskino: (I'm in love with this one... the scenes are gorgeous)

And this music box: (Another great love of mine.)

...Grow apple trees and honeybees and snow white turtle-doves... Me and these things... we would live in perfect harmony.

Y'all have a happy Saturday!

Let's play a game. Because I like to win.

If I found a bag of money (I like to play this game) after doing all of the responsible things with it, I would still have like, umpteen dollars left, and these are the things that I still would never buy.

That lime pair runs a mere $765, and I would have to be very rich, and also very very high to buy them - or anything else in this bunch of shoes and accessories. Which is just another way of saying that I would never buy these shoes and accessories... in case you were worried about me taking the pot and gettin all hopped up on the crack. (If you have these shoes, I'm sure they look lovely on you.)

And then there are the jewelry options. Especially designed for the Marc Jacobs superfan.

And if you love Marc Jacobs that much but that style's not working farrr ya, you could always go with The Cluster. Flattering on every figure, I'm sure. Oh, and if red's not your color, you could opt for the blue one.

And the bracelet to match. Because you simply have to match.

You will never find these on my rich and fancy bawdy. No matter how rich. Or fancy.


I would totally rock these:

Now. If anyone plans on "losing" a large sack of money, please notify me of its exact location immediately that I may swoop down to snatch it and make all my dreams come true at the nearest Anthropologie store.

Thank you for your cooperation. You will have done a most noble thing indeed, and I am most sincerely obliged.

18 May 2008

...to be busy at home

I don't know what I've been doing lately. You'd think with all the time I've spent not blogging, that my ironing pile would be smaller, and that my family would have had better meals to eat than frozen pizza and defrosted leftovers. I don't know what I've been doing. My lack of focus really does concern me sometimes.

Lately, there are two Scriptures that have gotten my attention. Because I'm convicted.

Proverbs 31:27
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Titus 2:5
... to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I think the KJV uses the phrase "keepers at home" instead of "busy at home". The Greek word for "keepers" means to be a "worker" or a "skilled craftsman".

When I first discovered the wonderful world of blogs, one of the first ones I bookmarked was Pleasant View Schoolhouse. I love Anna's blog. Not because it's well-written or because it's filled with beautiful photography. (It is.) I was completely drawn in by her heart for her home. She reads, she sews, she embroiders, she cooks, and so much more! Reading her posts made me want to commit my heart more fully to my home; to be a real homemaker. Not just a stay-at-home-mom. I feel I have a clearer vision of what it means to BE a homemaker. Although I don't know Anna personally, her blog has in some way, helped to fulfill Titus 2 in my life.

...teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind...

Anna's blog has been a window into her world, and by allowing me to peek inside, she has helped me to do these things better. Her words ignite a passion in my heart for my home. Who can place a value on that? We're to work diligently wherever the Lord has us, right? To bloom where we're planted. My work is my family and my home.

I've always liked being at home, but I've struggled alot with having my heart in it. I find it very easy to spend my days doing nothing. I am not, by nature, a highly motivated person. If I don't keep it in check, I have a strong tendency to be lazy and waste days on end, accomplishing nothing of real value. But that's not where I'm the most happy. I feel best about myself, and my life at home, when I put my heart into it. When I'm busy at home, and not eating the bread of idleness.

So today, I cleaned the floors (swept/mopped/vacuumed) which were in desparate need. It was way overdue. Puddin' is one of those babies that puts everything in their mouths. My other two weren't like that. I'm not kidding when I say that every day I have to finger-sweep Puddin's mouth because he's eaten something off the floor. Today, his Daddy took a love bug out of his mouth. That just makes me feel sick. I can't understand why, but my boy loves to eat off the floor. Lately though it's hard to blame him. There have been so many crumbs and tiny things to entice him. And it's not just the floor. He also loves the bathroom. And his favorite thing in there? The trash can. I have walked in there to find him chewing on a wet wipe. From the trash can. I don't consider myself a germaphobe, but that's just nasty. I'll be happy when he stops putting all manner of disgust into his mouth. I can tell you that much. And if I'm keeping busy at home, there will be less for him to munch on.

If you're in need of some homemaking inspiration, please, please, please, go read this post at Pleasant View Schoolhouse. And if you have some time to peruse, do indulge. You'll be glad you did, I assure you.

14 May 2008

Gnarled is not synonymous with gnarly. You know, like Bill & Ted used to say?

Ever since that fateful day, which will henceforth be referred to as "the incident", I've had veins on the brain. I googled it, naturally. Where else do you go when you need to find totally accurate, truthful information pertaining to various and sundry topics? I don't know where you go, but I defer to Google. Anyway, look what I learnt.

I love words; I love the way words will really open up the meaning of other words. So, in my searching I stumbled upon this.

"Varicose veins are gnarled, enlarged veins."

gnarled -
1. having a rugged, weather-beaten appearance
2. adjective used of old persons or old trees

Thank you. Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed that gnarled would make it on my short list of descriptive adjectives of my haute bawdy. I mean, haven't we all? "I want to be brilliant, brave, tall, sexy and gnarled. Even if I have to pass on some of those other traits, I definitely want to get in on some of that gnarled action."

I remember saying that. I even used those words to describe myself when I tried to map out my future when we played *M*A*S*H*. (I always secretly hoped to land on gnarled.)

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Consequently, gnarled is not of my favorite words. Fear not though, I'm not as down and pathetic as I might sound. I just thought I'd add that so y'all don't start to worry about my mental health and whatnot. It's all good. Here's hoping for a good tan, really really soon.

13 May 2008


I never knew molecular biology could be so captivating. What the heck is laminin and why do I care?


...Oh, I like Him. :)

11 May 2008

If you need me, you can find me reading the labels of meds for the elderly.

Yesterday I went to Target. Alone. It was so nice. I stayed for two hours, looking at clothes, jewelry, shoes and purses. Even now, just thinking about it makes me giddy with excitement. And tomorrow, I get to do it again! My sweet, awesome friend, Jess, is gonna keep my kids all day!! Did I mention she's AWESOME?! I am very, very blessed, and I can't wait.

While I was there I found these cute, cute shoes, which I purchased. They look way cuter in person.

I saw a few other cute things that I brought into the dressing room to try on, one of which was a blue knit skirt. So I put it on and it was so, so comfortable, but not very forgiving, if you know what I mean. I was in one of the big dressing rooms with the three-way mirrors which is both a blessing and a curse. So I'm checking out my back acres, trying to see if this is really workin' for me. It wasn't. But what's worse, I saw something else - this thing on my left calf.


When did this happen?? How??? I'm 28 years old. TWENTY-EIGHT! Not sixty-eight. Y'all. I have a granny vein. The horror! *looking into my crystal ball* I now see some laser surgery in my future. This thing was blue (like the skirt, which I think brought out the color of my GRANNY VEIN nicely) and it was raised. That's the part that horrifies me the most. It looked bumpy. (I can hear you right now, saying "gross" out loud. Or maybe that's just me.) If I wear flats for the rest of my days it will probably never pump up like that (you know, like after you work out your muscles real good, which is usually a desirable thing), but come on, let's don't be silly. What good are flats for the aesthetic appeal of my calves?? Which is only to say that without some kind of a heel, my calves are shapeless and without pump, which is to me, nearly as ugly as that vein. Ugh. So heels it is, vein or no vein.

What is happening to me?! Can I expect to be covered in skin tags by the end of the week? Should I start taking a fiber supplement? I'm too young to die!

09 May 2008

Happy Anniversary, Honeybee!!

When I think about telling this story, I'm not really sure where to begin. At the way way beginning? Because that's really long and detailed. This is the first time I actually put these thoughts on paper, so I'll just jump right in and see where that leads.

When I saw Stretch for the first time, I know my face flushed, and I wanted to turn away so that my lurve for what I saw would not embarrass me, but I was like a moth to a flame and I'm sure I just stood there and stared, mouth gaping, trying to look cooler than I felt. He was wearing a tux, and he was looking mighty fine. He apparently felt the same way about me which was a great big relief, and also a jolt of happy feelings.

Fast-forward about fifteen months. One night, Stretch and I had made plans to meet the next morning at a local coffee house. Him for coffee, me for steamed milk with vanilla. The next morning when I was brushing my teeth, I heard a knock at my apartment door. I opened it and found a friend of his standing there, holding a brown paper bag. He said, "special delivery!" and walked away. I demanded more information, yelling down the hall at him, "what is going on?!" I got no such information. And I'm glad.

I opened the bag. Inside was a fortune cookie. Hmm, interesting. Cute. I like this game. I crack open the cookie and there is a small slip of paper instructing me to drive to the coffee house and tell the cashier my name. Okaayyy. So I was super giddy now! And a little nervous about how much of a dorkus I would look like walking up and saying, Hi, I'm Jodie. And then waiting, in the thick, embarrassing silence for her response. Which is exactly what I did. Shaking all the way. I walk up, tell the girl my name and she hands me my regular, steamed milk with vanilla and another paper bag containing another fortune cookie. This time my instructions were to drive to McDonald's and tell the cashier who I was.

When I got there, I walked in and by this time I was looking over my shoulder trying to read people's faces and see who all was in on this. I felt extremely silly. And elated.

So I followed my instructions and was, again, handed my regular. Breakfast burritos with hot sauce. And another bag, with another cookie. This one said to go to a certain meeting place. So I did. And there he was, sitting there with this huge, silly and nervous grin on his face, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers behind him. When I reached him (after what felt like an endless walk), he stood up and hugged me, lifting my feet off the ground and spinning me around. Then he got down on one knee, pulled a ring box out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. I knew I could never spend the rest of my life without this man.

I said yes.

That was six years ago, and I would marry him again in a second.

Happy Anniversary, honeybee. I love you so much. You had me at hello. ;)

08 May 2008

Tavin Dillard: Butter!

A long while ago, the stars aligned just right in our favor, and we made a sweet sweet discovery. Maybe you know him, and maybe you don't. I'm just gon' go right ahead now and introduce to you, our best good buddy, Tavin Dillard.

This here particular video snuck deep down into my husband's subconscience and was later recalled, after a heavy dose of anesthesia began to wear off. Hence the previous post. We are both in love. And we may or may not sometimes fight over who Tavin's real BFF is. It's me. Not him for sure.

It's all me.

Anyway. Without any further delay.


There's more where this came from. I KNOW!! I can't hardly stand it either! You can even subscribe so that you don't miss any new videos! Visit his site here!! The interweb abounds with goodness. Like manna from the skies.

Butter for President

About two weeks ago, (or maybe three. I really have no concept of time.) Stretch had two wisdom teeth pulled. Maybe I should say extracted, since pulled sounds a little more violent. Like pulled is synonymous with yanked, which kinda makes my stomach hurt. Anyway, I digress.

He had 2 teeth pulled. I drove him to his appointment and went in for all of the preliminaries because the nursing staff knew he would be too incoherent when it was all over to remember how to care for the new holes he would find in his mouth when the numbness wore off.

And speaking of numbness, I think some of the anesthesia got to his brain. My husband is normally a very private and conservative person. He doesn't meddle in people's personal business, like a certain woman he may have committed to spend the rest of his life with. After surgery I went into "the recovery room" to wait for him. He was wheeled in by a nurse we'll call Pam. So, Pam wheeled him in and stayed with us while we waited for further instruction from the doctor. While we waited, Stretch's numbness got the best of his mental faculties and he felt the need to converse with Pam. He is a chatty guy and will talk to just about anyone, and that's usually a good thing.


So, mouth full of gauze and facial muscles lacking their usual vigor, he turns to Pam and slurs, "Who you gonna vote for for President?" My face was beginning to flush and I laughed nervously. It was so garbled she said, "What?" And he had to repeat his question. In her defense, it did sound alot like Who you gonna boat far fuh pwethident?

Okay. Is it just me? Or is that something that you just don't ask people? I mean, it could get hostile. I was sitting there waiting for follow-up questions like, "So, how much coin you pullin' in here, Pam?" and "Do any of the men in your family have prostate problems (pwothtate pwoblemth)?" God, in his mercy, held his tongue and neither Pam nor myself had to endure that embarrassment.

So poor Pam, (she was very gracious, bless her heart), went on to discuss her private political matters with us and then my very demure husband interrupted her with, "Vote for ice cream." Then he shrugs his shoulders and shaking his head, very seriously says, "Hmph, never did me wong." Then it was my turn to repeat what he said, because again, she couldn't understand him. I mean, it came out pretty clear, but surely he wasn't saying what she thought he was saying, right? It was like watching a grown-up talk to your two year old when they have a language that only you can understand, and you have to translate to every adult they speak with. So I repeated his sentiments about ice cream, only to be interrupted with, "Or you could vote for butter." Which was pronounced butta. And again, "Hmph, never did me wong. Butta for Pwethident."