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I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences. Gertrude Stein

21 January 2009

The Honest Truth

The other day I asked my Sweet Pickle, "Do you think these jeans make Mama look fat?"

[Right here, you're probably thinking, what is wrong with her?! I asked because I really wanted to know. I know that he adores me to the skies and loves me to the moon and back and back again, and I also know that if I really want his assessment, I can ask him. He'll tell me.]

So I asked my 5 year old because I wanted an honest opinion that I could believe.

[I couldn't ask Stretch because that's never a safe question for the husband. It's cruel and unusual punishment. He can't win that. If he says no, he's obviously lying (because we never believe their compliments, or our mother's). But who in his right mind says yes?! An evil and cruel and horrid man who would be thenceforward banished to the wastelands forever.]

"Um, yeah, a little," saith my Sweet Sweet Pickle.

"Where?"

He walks up behind me, slaps me on my left cheek and then my right, saying "here, and here." Then he walks around the front and slaps me once on each thigh and says again, "here, and here."

He was quite nice about it, too - jaunty and with a smile in his voice. Not even a hint of mean--not a shred. Which makes me love his openness that much more.

He's my Mirror Mirror on the Wall. My lie detector.

If only he was as reliable when there's an altercation between himself and his seester....

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Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Absolutely HYSTERICAL!!!

You are one BRAVE woman. I think by two older boys are too old now to ask that question; they'd lie. :-) But they'd have that look on their face like, "Am I really supposed to answer that question??? I can't hurt her feelings, so.....NO!" ha ha

Rachel said...

"Seester"? Is that a tribute to Dexter's Laboratory? :)

You can send your son my way any day. I've got an entire closet of "does this make me look fat" clothes, though I'm pretty sure I'd know what his answer would be for all of them!

Tonja said...

ok, just for the record (and yes, i'm being honest), your deriere c'est n'pas FAT...i think he must have said that b/c it's bigger than his wee little head :) i mean, come on, what's he comparing it to?
and your thighs...i have no idea.

now, i'm going to read all your other blogs from the last month that i have yet to read :)

Jodie said...

Tonja:Yeah, I meant to say that... in his mind, anything with a bump is a little bit fat. He's so flat and scrawny, and he only uses himself as a comparison. :)

However... his Mama could stand to drop a few, and that's why I prompted the question at all. I wanted to see how his little mind saw his Mama.

But like I said, I am not the least bit injured by what he said.

Rachel: I had forgotten about Dexter's La-bore-a-tory. I loved that crazy little guy. I think that "seester" made it into my vernacular after I saw The Three Amigos... "Hey man, you got a seester?"

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Girlfriend ... ummmm ... i really got nothin' ... because I think I tell you how beautiful you are way too much and you might think I'm a weird stalker girl. Anyway, I think your derrier' (not sure if that' how you spell it) is obviously now as large as you thin or i would have noticed. And I haven't at all noticed your derrier', hence it's not large. You're a cutie patootie and Sweet Pickle is a hoot!

beautiful disaster said...

Awwww... what a cute moment! It always tickles me how honest children are - you ask them a question and you better be ready for their answer!!!

Ok, I am so glad I've taken a bunch of French b/c if not I would be having some serious trouble navigating your page ;)

bren j. said...

That is brilliant! Remind me to NEVER ask the LG.

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

That is so funny! I love the way kids just say it as they see it. :)