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I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences. Gertrude Stein

19 October 2008

How-To: Come Home Happy

I just returned from Gulf Shores. [read: I just returned from the beach and tons of shopping.] I think it's probably needless to say this, but we had us a really good time. There were about 75 of us altogether. Seventy-five persons of the female persuasion.

Dude.

That is aLOT of estrogen.

And let me just go ahead and get the absolute HIGH. LIGHT. of the trip out of the way before we move on to the other particulars.

I came in second in a limbo contest.

Second. [That's right after first.]

To a really cool teenage girl.

There is a good ten year span between us, and roughly [cough] 5 lb. bodyweight difference. Give or take about 55 lbs. You can barely tell though.

The only difference is that she scuttled under that bar swift and speedy-like... think: crab. While I moved by tiny haf-inch hops and shimmies and was eventually destroyed and brought low by the extra Meow Mix on my bottom, and frontal development I have accumulated over the past few children.

The important thing is I made it. Mostly.

Too bad we weren't playing a good ole-fashioned game of hand grenades instead of tryin' to drop it like it's hot, because then almost would'a counted and we'd have both won.

My abs are still sore today. Wanna know what we were playin' for? The Grand Prize (the only prize) was a $5 gift card to Wal-Mart.

I can spend $5 at Wal-Mart.

And so.

I limboed. (Limbo'd?)

Mmmhmm. I wish you could'a seen it.

I wish I could'a seen it.

And then other than that, I put my feet in the sand and salt water, shopped and ate some delicious food and we drove for 17 (or maybe 6) hours both ways and talked and laughed and talked and talked and laughed and talked.

Oh, and I knitted, too. Which made me seem about 44 years older.

[And that fact alone makes that limbo contest all the more grand.]

Knitting on the road... I just call that effective travel.

(While others called it Meir Meir and Granny. And "old".)

Our itinerary looked something like this:
--Check-in
--Hit the beach
--Meet for supper in pj's and play games, eat chocolate, and laugh until security comes a-knockin' and tells some people to put a sock in it
--Sleep
--Wake up, check-out and shop from 9 to 5
--Return home somewhere between 9 and 11pm

My favorite part of that schedule is that it neither mentioned nor involved things like:
--refill sippy cup
--wipe snotty nose
--rid your olfactory's of the offensive odor coming from your child's hiney area
--wake up at 4am to get cup of milk for crying baby
--get up from supper to break up fight in back of house and try to convince your children (again) that they are best friends, while they stare blankly at you, completely not buying it
--growl, glare and huff around in general

Getting away was clearly all things wonderful. And I came home feeling relaxed and calm and halcyon (calm, peaceful).

October really is my birthday month. And this year, it has been particularly good to me.

On a completely unrelated, random note, my son asked today why Jasmine (Aladdin) shows her belly button and it took a lot of restraint for me not to say "because she's a floozy".

Clearly my children are in good hands.

**trip pictures coming soon**

7 people love me:

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

You are my limbo-ing hero. I KNOW I could not do that.

I cannot wait to see the pictures...sounds like such a fun weekend!

Rachel said...

This might be one of my favorite posts EVER! You are hysterical!

And I probably would have called Jasmine a floozy and not even thought twice about it (especially regarding the subsequent question, "Mommy, what's a floozy?").

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

You limbo-ing was definitely a sight to behold. Girl, you are flexible. If it weren't for those darn boobs. Dang it! You know, I was pulling for you.

Sounds like you had a good time. And the estrogen thing ... I can relate.

And tell your son ... good girls don't shoe their belly buttons.

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

I mean SHOW, not SHOE their belly buttons. Yes, I was a teacher and taught the youth of America.

Tonja said...

you crack me up (but you know this!)...I wish I coulda seen you limbo, too :)

hooray for time away! so glad you had a great time.

and about Jasmine, maybe you could tell him that her mama didn't knit as well as his mama, and either she ran out of yarn, she made it too short, or it shrunk in the dryer! (hehee)

Tante D's better half said...

Well, I was there and I DID see you almost win that limbo contest and I was really rooting for you. I was so impressed....I mean, beating a 19 year old at a limbo contest is something to brag about. Bask in your glory my sweet friend!

And about Jasmine -- if bare ankles = hussy (as per our road trip friend's doctor), I guess bare belly = floozy. I'm proud to say that I may have been a hussy this weekend....but I was NO floozy!

bren j. said...

Congrats on the second place limbo finish.

And Jasmine's a floozy, hey? I really think you should've told him that, then taken a picture of his reaction when you told him what floozy means.