Still

I found this clever list idea over at Antique Mommy and decided to play along. Let me know if you do it, too.

So here's what I'm still doing:

*edited

Still amazed: at the thought of eternity.

Still getting used to: being the mother of 3 small children, and how much my body has spread like warm butter over the past 6 years.

Still loving: words!! And laughter! And being a stay-at-home mom and not having to put our little one's in daycare, and also the color gray, and making things with my hands.

Still proud of: the shift I've felt in the past few months toward being a mother and a homemaker. But especially a mother. I feel more heart-bonded to my children. I've made a conscious decision to accept them into our family, to welcome them and to love them, instead of feeling inconvenienced by all of the sacrifices that make up motherhood. I never had that feeling in my heart as a little girl, that I hear some other women talk about, that desire to grow up and have a family. I never felt really warm and nurturing, even after our first and then our second child were born. But I feel my heart turning towards them more now, and I feel better about myself. I don't know if it's something to be proud of, but it definitely settles a part of my mother's heart that condemned me.

Still not proud of: my relationships with my mom and my dad - or my two brothers. We're like strangers that used to know each other. It's tough, but I hope to see some progress this year.

Still hoping: to have a skinny behind.

Still worried: about how my children will turn out and how I might ruin them.

Still never going to: wear mom jeans, or pants with words across the butt.

Still pretending: that I'll be a size 5 again.

Still reading: Your blog!

Still wanting to read: the Bible & my devotional stuff every day. And Inside Out, for the second time. I'd like to read it once every year, but that's a big aspiration. I like to think big but I'm way too slacky to actually follow through with that.

Still interested in: learning about photography, and bringing in some Benjamin's with my crafting skillz. Lots of Benjamin's.

Still not interested in: Paris Hilton or the bird flu. Or global warming.

Or the stock market.

Or Big Brother (the "reality" show).

Still looking forward to: days when I can shop in stores I want to be in, with spending money, and no children, for the whole day. It could happen. And being a size 5.

Still not looking forward to: the imminent nervous breakdown of having all 3 of the kids home for the summer.

Still failing: brevity. Not my gift.

Still grateful for: my true friends. Without them, I'd likely be back in rehab or jail by now. Or at least living like I'm trying to get back to rehab or jail. And the health of our family.

Still Wondering: where my friend Anne disappeared to.

Still praying: to know more about who God is and to believe the love.

Still not believing in: cow's milk, vaccinations and fluoride being good for you.

Still believing in: Jesus' promise to carry out this work that he started in me, to see it to completion because he's not a big slacker like me.

What are YOU still doing?

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Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10