Spillin' Over

I've been blogging for almost a year now, and I've come across this question on other people's blogs: Are you the same person in real life as you are on your blog? I generally tend to think I'm better on paper, thereby somewhat different than I am in person.

Editing, ya know? If I say something unfitting, I can just delete it and have a do-over.

Real life doesn't offer that.

(Nor does it offer background music or a theme song, which I also think is unfortunate.)

Add to that that in real life, I am nice, but not friendly. I am not great at small talk. In fact, I pretty much suck at it.

(How is this possible for a Southern girl? I don't know.)
(Maybe I'm British after all.)
(Which is not to say that the British aren't good small talkers. I wouldn't know.)
(If you're British, don't get all put out. I don't mean anything by that.)
(All I'm saying is it is decidedly UNsouthern to not be a fantastic small talker. It's in our DNA.)
(Well, most of us anyway.)

So anyway, this Can't Small Talk Disease does not apply to people I already know. I could straight talk the HEAD off of someone I have an established relationship with. If you know me... you know. :)

However, if it's someone I don't really know, I am a social misfit. I get lock jaw. I think people sometimes experience me as rude or maybe snobby. It's not that. I don't think I'm better than you. I'm just terrible at small talk.

So where am I going with this anyway? Well, back to the original question... Are you the same person in real life as you are on your blog? Well, on my blog I feel so much more freedom. I have become practiced at saying what I'm thinking. Therefore, blogging almost every day is changing me. It's starting to spill over. It's kinda nice, but it kinda makes me nervous, too. Being practiced at saying things here is now more easily translated into the real world, where real people are looking at me. In real time.

When I'm writing a post, there's no one who may possibly be forming judgments about me. No eyes, watching me. But it's like I'm training myself to be different. Forming different habits. Perhaps unfolding. I'd like to think of it as that.

I think blogging has been good for me in this regard. I've never enjoyed my handicap, but it has served me. I've always wanted to converse more easily with people - to be better at putting other people at ease... because we're all dealing with our own stories and insecurities about ourselves. Sitting in awkward silence only makes it worse. When I am with someone who is chatty and friendly though, I mirror that. Because I like it. I am more inclined to become friends with those people. Their open friendliness puts me at ease and dissolves my fear of rejection.

I'd like to think that blogging is helping me to overcome some of that junk.

So, if you know me, have you noticed a difference?
Also, if you blog, what's been your experience with this? I really want to know.