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I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences. Gertrude Stein

19 January 2009

Twitter. It's dead to me.

Twitter. Another word for WASTE MY TIME LIFE SUCKING DEVICE.

Because I'm a sucker for such devices, I signed up [because I didn't want to miss anything and be out of the loop, thereby making myself a loser blogger because I didn't know when other bloggers had gone to Target or drank a Caramel Macchiato or ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's] and promptly began neglecting it because' really? I don't care.

I really just don't care. The whole thing just makes me feel heavy and weighted down.

So about a week or two ago [I never really know how much time has passed], I tried to sign on so that I could just delete my account. I keep getting emails that soandso is now following me on Twitter, and I just think, poor fools, there's nothing to follow. Unless of course, someone hacked into my account (again) and there are some updates that I'm unaware of. Because like I was saying, I tried to sign on and it kept saying my signin/password were incorrect, so I contacted them for some technical support and the instructions they gave medidn't work.

Seems no one knows how to get me back in.

Doesn't matter though, because I have zero energy for twitter. I'm all tweeted out. If I could log on and update it today I'd probably say something like that... I'm all tweeted out. Peace Out. Shalomey Homies. And then I'd promptly delete my account.

But I can't do that. Because I can't log in.

I don't really have a clean way to wrap this up. I know a few of you were following me. Thank you for helping me to feel more popular, and I'm sorry there was never anything of consequence to follow.

This is my public announcement that I will be Twitter-ing no more. My official hasta luego, if you will.

And there ya have it.

6 people love me:

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I am the worst twitterer ever, because I feel the same way you do...I don't really think it's very fun.

Crack me up about the new followers because I think the SAME thing...only not as cleverly put :)

Unknown said...

Never thought I could keep up with twitter and FB and blogging, so I never got into it, so I'm not missing you on Twitter, 'cause I'm not there.

This post cracked me up. I had to read it aloud to Beau (aka you know his real name).

Unknown said...

So glad you posted this. I am trying to understand Twitter but seriously don't get it. It is a time waster. Thanks for saying what we all have been thinking.

susanna said...

The title of this post made me laugh! I just got on facebook 2 weeks ago and already have had to reel myself back into reality. Sometimes you just have to be with real people instead of your computer. Keep on with the funny, girl. It's good.
ps....I only took one year of french...un petite peu...you're really stretching me with your french subtitles on here...enregister...Alors! J'ai quinze ans. Okay, I'm not 15. But that is the extent of my french. I'm going to try and think up a witty comment to leave you en francais next time. :) Is this your longest comment ever? That was my goal. :)

bren j. said...

Twitter! Bah! You're right. I just can't bring myself to sign up regardless of what sort of popularity it would bring. <- And that is not in any way meant to sound like I am a more strong-willed person that you are. I'm glad you did it so I didn't have to.

En Francais. ;)

r salvage. said...

I don't see the point of Twitter either. Do I really want to know that you just left for the grocery store? Do I really need to know how bored you are because you are home sick on a Saturday night and there's nothing good on TV? Complete waste of time. I can see how it could be a little fun for about a minute. Just a minute.