Dear Mr. Opposum(s) and Armadillo(s) of the night,
Can you not cross the road in a more speedy fashion? Oh sure, your family will probably miss you if you don't return from your overnight huntin' trip, but think of the people! Looking at your body plastered all over the road like a biology project is just nasty.
Also, please tell your friends.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
Sincerely and Amen.