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I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences. Gertrude Stein

16 April 2008

Dear Diary,

Day 1
I saw a lizard today. Without really thinking it through I reached for him and caught his tail, but he slipped away. I tried again- Success! I got him! I screamed as loud as I could (it was very shrill because I was terrified) and almost gave Mom a coronary. He flared his throat which caused me to panic, and Mom yelled, Let him go! Let him go! So I did.
After it was over and I could talk about it, Mom helped me to understand that I panicked because I was scared it might bite me. Mom reassured me that lizards don't have big scary teeth, and that my Uncle Dave sometimes wears them on his ears like earrings. That makes me laugh. I feel better. And now, I want to catch the lizard again but it hid for the rest of the day. Plus, I don't have anywhere to put him when I do catch him again, so we need to go to Target to buy a cage.

Day 3

I got my cage now and I'm ready. Cage in hand. Enthusiasm high. Camouflage be-decked, as I stalk the wild beast, careful not to be noticed. Lizard catching was no good today. Too cold, as evidenced by my knit hat. (Mom's saying things like, "Wussup? It's mid-April people!" Who is she talking to??) I was still happy to be out there though, excited about the possibilities, regardless of how slim.

Now, where are all the lizards??

Day 4
Lizards make me jumpy. Confidence not as high today. I will recruit Mom, who is such a sissy she insists on wearing thick gardening gloves to try and snag this toothless beast. Her hands are so slow I feel a little bit sorry for her, but I won't tell her that. I just say, "good try Mama. You'll get him next time".

Day 5
Still got Mom on the hunt. She's trying to be the hero, and I'm happy she's out here helping me. She's still slow though, so I still have nothing to show for all my labor. And she's still wearing the gloves.

Day 6
I think I'll ask Dad....
Victory! (Why didn't I do this sooner?)
I show Mom the fruits of my his labor and we celebrate. There is much hooping and hollering and jollification.
Maybe Mom felt a slight sting at being outdone by Dad. (I think she has a thing about being outdone.)
I spot another lizard and chase him around for a while. Mom coaches me from the doorway telling me which way he went. Finally she comes out and chases him with me, and then, she sticks out a bare hand and snags the lizard! Score!! Way to go Mom!

I now have 2 lizards!!

Today is a good day.

3 people love me:

Carlie Faulk said...

You should bring him to my house - tons of lizards and Cade would love to catch them with him.

I was cooking dinner yesterday and Cade brought one in and held it up next to me - to which I scream "Take that thing OUTSIDE!!" lol - What's up with boys and lizards? :)

kristin said...

don't know if you remember, but in mom's old house we had TONS of lizards and they lived INSIDE the house! They always got in....one time I had Janet beat a few down for me! Yeah so too bad she still doesn't have that house.

Tonja said...

priceless...I love this post!!
I'm so proud of you ALL for catching those lizards :)
I always resort to Uncle Dave, b/c he does wear them like earrings...he thinks it's cool, and he knows it really makes kiddos laugh :) I'm glad Noah thinks so too!