I swear when I started this blogging business my mind seemed to be brimming with interesting, even witty things to post about. Now, dull. I have a head full of dull. I'm not sure I've had a single thing to post about that hasn't seemed completely drab. I blame the pressure. Unbelievable pressure. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, like I am single-handedly responsible for entertaining the masses, or maybe just one or two, with my brilliant wordage. Oh perfection, how thou eludest me.
I mean, when I decided to start my own blog, I did it because I thought, "Dude, having a blog would be FUN!" I've been making it harder than it should be.
This is really a picture of my life though. If I feel someone may be dissecting my every move, or word in this case, I freeze. Fear paralyzes me. Any move could be a source of scorn, ridicule. I start feeling the heaviness, that feeling that I must get it right, or I will surely die. But really, I can't breathe under a microscope. I need so much more grace than that. Feeling like I'm under scrutiny takes my breath. I'm like a deer in the headlights. So today, I am giving myself some grace. To keep it real - and to be free from performance pressure. Even if real is sorta uneventful and not much in the way of "interesting".
And now, I will go have some chocolate. Because it makes me happy, and it may well be the answer to world peace.