We all have dirty secrets. Some dirtier than others.
Today I vacuumed. It's been a while since the last time so I figured, hey! We're having company this weekend.... why not today? Why do I avoid that particular chore?
Exhibit A. My vacuum really sucks.
(All of my aversions have very good reasons.)
But talking about how filthy your floors really are is putting yourself on shaky ground, is it not. It's like saying, "I went three days without a shower." It's better to talk about those things as past tense.
Not, say, this week. That's how you lose friends.
But today, I cleaned my putrid carpets. And of course I'm playing fast and loose with the word "cleaned" because I'll refer you back to Exhibit A.
We're down to two. Rooms that is. Two rooms with carpet.
So today, I'm giving something else away, because I'm a giver. A great prize at that.
Answer this question: Not counting today, how many days has it been since I last vacuumed?
Whoever guesses closest to my guess will win a very robust round of applause.
By the end of this you will feel so good about how clean your house is.
I may never recover, but you will feel like a MILLION BUCKS.
I do so much for y'all.