May I Have A Word? | Chapter 3

I've always been a big, big fan of Mad Libs, especially for the element of surprise. It's something that snagged me way back when, in like, middle school, and has never turned me loose. But I don't mind, 'cause I had love them lil' Mad Libs. It's a match made in Heaven. God made me to love language, and then He made somebody else make Mad Libs. And then we met, me and Mad Libs, and I fell in love.

So, as a way to work that sort of fun into my little blogging world, I'd like to present to you the May I Have a Word, Unpack Your Adjectives Edition.

By way of review, in case you're a little foggy,
an adjective modifies a noun, distinguished by one of several suffixes such as -able, -ous, -er, and -est, or by position, directly preceding a noun or nominal phrase.

Here is a short list of possibles:
colossal
lumpy
paltry
unkempt
husky
glistening
thrunchy

In order for this to work like actual, real live Mad Libs, what I'll do is write down your offerings and draw randomly from a bowl and use them when I find myself in need of an adjective... and perhaps, I'll write a little more descriptively, to make more room for more adjectives.

Also, I have not forgotten about your other offerings that have not yet seen the light of a posted post as opposed to a draft --- they will soon surface as well. Do not despair.

So go on now, and Unpack Your Adjectives so I can use them to tell you my tales.
And have a pleasant day!

With age comes oversharing?

I'd like to talk a little today about some of the particulars of aging, as it pertains to certain ones of the female persuasion.

I think we all know the expression, "With age comes wisdom". How about the slightly less known, "With age comes too much information". Heard of it? Well I propose, even if the expression is unknown to you, the concept is not.

I recently met a lady in passing; let's call her Lucille, shall we? Lucille and I chatted a bit as women do, making small talk. Shortly thereafter, a friend of hers, whom we'll call Pearl, walked up to us and greeted Lucille.

Keep in mind that these ladies were standing within arms reach of me, and I don't have excessively long arms, which means that I can hear them, and they know that I can hear them, and also bear in mind, I am a complete stranger to them both.

Pearl says, "Hey Lu, how ya doin?"

Lucille responds, "Wellll, I have a yeast infection and hemorrhoids so, you know, I should probably be home with my feet propped up instead of in here shopping."

I don't think that's what Pearl was gunning for.

This sort of reply always puts someone (who thinks you're crazy) in the awkward position of having to respond.

Let's keep going though, shall we? How about another example of this most troubling phenomenon?

My friend tells tale of the day a woman left her Grandfather in social difficulties. She describes her Grandfather as a very conservative, and very, very private man. One day, a family member shows up to his home. As he opens the door to her he says, "Hi so and so, How ya doin'?" She throws her hands in the air over her head and says in exasperation and with great energy, "Not too good! I'm bleedin' from the rectum!"

What happens between 17 and say... 50?

At 17, girls are mortified and prepared to drop out of school, and may even write into a magazine that bears their age telling of their most embarrassing moment, if they come out of the bathroom with a tiny piece of toilet paper hitchin' a ride on their shoe. It's too much to bear.

Fast forward a few years to age 50 and beyond, and you will see a loss of restraint that is staggering, where women will say in front of anyone what is going on in the area that was once known as private.

I understand that not every woman suffers from this affliction, but it is rather common. Common enough that you probably have a story yourself. If you don't, I'd bet the farm that you know someone who does.

Risky Business

My tongue might fall off.

It just might.

This sauce might also burn a hole in my intestines and ruin my liver.

Then again, it might not.

I'll take that chance.

It all started at the sushi restaurant
with the spicy mayo.
Where it stop,
nobody know.

Sugarhead, The Entertainer

Sugarhead uses half words, which I cannot get my fill of. For instance, she'll say she wants to watch teev, or she wants to go to the lib (long i). That apple didn't fall far from the Let's Talk Ghetto tree.

She also loves long walks on the beach and spends her free time making up words.

My most recent favorite came last night after bath time. Let me illustrate.

"Look, Mama, look! Look at my fingers", she exclaims, spreading her little hands open for investigation. "They're all cruffled."

Cruffled -
to soak, fill, or saturate with water so as to make soggy

synonyms: water logged, prune hands

She doesn't mean to be so entertaining. She just is.

{You can't have her. She's all mine.}

Make a wish

The dandelion radiantly shining in the grass like a spark dropped from the sun.
Henry Ward Beecher

The miracles of nature do not seem miracles
because they are so common.
If no one had ever seen a flower, even a dandelion
would be the most startling event in the world.

The Lord, our God, He is splendiferous!

Famous Last Words

Not much changes around here. Whenever people ask what's been going on, the answer is typically, "nothing new".

With the exception of the occasional illness or broken household item, things are pretty consistent.

This week though, I have something new to tell.

Something I've said for the past 6 years that I would never do.

Never.

It would take a miracle of such proportions that it is inconceivable that it would ever happen.

"Never", I said.

And then God chuckled, and He giggled, and He laughed and laughed and laughed.

Because He always knows something I don't; He knows what's coming, and I don't.

Until I do.

Dude.

This year, for the first time ever, I will be homeschooling.

Yeah, let that soak in.

(Y'all. I swore I never would.)

But the times, they are a-changin'. (Sing it, Bob!)

I do not pretend to know the full-extent of God's reasoning behind all of this, but there are a few things I hope to gain from it.

There is one major thing I want for our family, and that is for us to be close-knit... for our children to be in close relationship with each other, and for them to also feel safe, close and open with us, their parents.

These desires have been in my heart, ever present, since I became The Mama.

This whole thing just makes me laugh a little. It's so typical to have things work out in this fashion -- in a way that I get what I want, but it comes in such a manner I'd never have expected!

(Kinda like in the very difficult, early years of our marriage when we had 2 kids right out of the starting blocks (and I thought our ship would sink)... but God knew exactly what He was doing, because those babies kept us together when other things fought with all their might to pull us apart, and may well have succeeded if not for them... it would've been too easy to walk away. Having them turned out to be very good for us.)

The same is true even now. There are other things fighting against me, all the time pulling at me. Developing the closeness and togetherness I want for our family takes so much effort, and so much death to my flesh.

But I want it.

... and nothing grand just happens.

Love, God

If you want to know how much I love you, count the waves.

Regret

More often than not, the sentiments I hear on regret go something like this:

"I don't regret anything. Everything I've ever done / been through has taught me a great lesson, and therefore, I have no regrets."

By definition, to regret is
1) to feel sorrow or remorse for an act, fault, etc.
2) to think of with a sense of loss.

When I look back over the course of my life, especially where I was about 10 years ago, I have a strong sense of regret. My heart is heavy with a sense of sorrow and remorse, even now. I hurt people. I did awful things that I knew would cause other people serious pain.

How can I now look at my actions and feel thankful for the "lesson" that was in it for me? That, to me, is even worse than the initial offense, which was grievous. How could I elevate some lesson over the pain I caused to someone else's heart. Who can say what difficulty they've had to endure because of my choices? Is any lesson ever worth that?

I should think not. Emphatically, I say no.

If I had it to do all over again, there are things I would do differently, and that, to me, is the essence of regret. I pray for the people that I hurt, so that their hearts can know healing and true peace... that their hearts can be healed from the pain I put there. Truly, I want it to be taken away and that they will know the love of God that is theirs in Christ Jesus.

And just for clarity's sake because I can already sense the direction of your comments, I am not talking about not being able to forgive myself or even making an effort to make restitution. I am satisfied, on both accounts, and yet, regret still remains.

So don't y'all go worrying ya little heads about me. I'm not sitting here in some depressed stupor. I just had a few thoughts on regret. That's all.

And I'm curious to know, what's your view on it?

Do you think this guy was a Boy Scout?

Hurricane season is upon us.
Thankfully, there's been nothing brewing to cause alarm.
However, if something does begin to churn out there, I don't think this guy plans to evacuate.
This, my friends, is preparedness... the likes of which I have never seen.
I like to think I've seen alot, but this.... I stand amazed.

You may recognize these pictures from my photo blog, {Verbs & Nouns}.
This is what (this) one does when (this) one is too lazy to post something else.
Besides, you may not know about my other blog, and I think we can all agree, information like this must be shared.

Let the record show, I'm only being redundant in order to better serve the people.