Puddin' Turns 1

Happy Birthday little sugar. We all love you so much. You are a dear, sweet boy; such a beautiful addition to our family. I believe I speak for us all when I say, we're thrilled that you are one of us.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life;
and you will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Psalm 23:6

I want to go a-treasure hunting in Manhattan!

Anybody know any sweet spots in the Manhattan area of NY to thrift shop? We're going in about a year. (Maybe a year and a half.)

Clearly, I like to plan ahead.

And ya know, let my brain simmer (and my mouth water) for a while.

If you've been there/live there/know someone who lives/used to live there or one time heard of someone who thought about maybe going there, and you know of some places with treasures (especially of the fashion kind), please share what you know. Any favorite spots. Book stores, places to eat, sight seeing, etc. But most importantly, vintage fashion on the cheap.

Just trying to do my homework. You understand.

And I figured the best place to do homework is to pick the brains of my homegirls. Okay, I don't really say homegirls. It's not at all part of my venacular. But dawgs, or peeps doesn't make for interesting word play with the word homework. (And on second thought, perhaps neither does homegirls.)

Well obviously this day has caused my brain to turn to mush. Or something very much like it.

Feel free now to share your learned secrets of Manhattan. I promise to keep 'em just between us. Because you & me, we tight, homeslice.

Alllriigggghhhhht. Enough already.

Please, please advise! With links if possible. Thank you thank you thank you!

All Else But God

When is the time to trust?
Is it when all is calm,
When waves the victor's palm,
And life is one glad psalm
Of joy and praise?
No! For the time to trust
Is when the waves beat high,
When storm clouds fill the sky,
And prayer is one long cry,
"Oh, help and save!"

When is the time to trust?
Is it when friends are true?
Is it when comforts woo,
And in all we say and do
We meet but praise?
No! For the time to trust
Is when we stand alone,
And summer birds have flown,
And every prop is gone,
All else but God.

When is the time to trust?
Is it some future day,
When you have tried your way,
And learned to trust and pray
By bitter woe?
No! For the time to trust
Is in this moment's need,
Poor, broken, bruised reed!
Poor, troubled soul, make speed
To trust your God.

When is the time to trust?
Is it when hopes beat high,
When sunshine gilds the sky,
And joy and ecstacy
Fill all the heart?
No! For the time to trust
Is when our joy has fled,
When sorrow bows the head,
And all is cold and dead,
All else but God.

Rest assured that if God waits longer than we desire, it is simply to make the blessings doubly precious.

excerpted from Streams in the Desert

Saving marriages one shredded piece of paper at a time.

I am a poor filer. I leave vital information in stacks around our house for weeks. (Okay, months.) I am a bad, bad girl.

You may shriek aloud. If you must.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

That cartoon speaks the truth. It lieth not.

Like my forefather before me, I cannot tell a lie.

(Somebody stop me.)

Recently though, the sun (sweet mercy) shone down on my wretchedness and this dark, dark night of my soul. It came in the form of a Martha magazine, which coughed up this tasty nugget. Document-Retention Guidelines.

Well, gracious sakes alive! I'm saved!

Seeing how this has been so beneficial to me (and may well be saving my marriage, because everyone has their limits [bad record-keeping is Stretch's]), I figured, Hey! Pass it on. Pay it forward. So, here you go.

And now it seems more possible to get to the bottom of the pile(s) and keep them down, bennis there's so much less to file.

I had been hanging onto things from the 90s. Apparently I am nothing if not a trash collector very, very thorough.

Do you concur?

I concur.

Clearing the Air (and my conscience)

I've got something that's been weighing on me that I feel like I need to address. A few weeks ago (in June), I did a post called Gratitude/Really Good News. The original post contained one thing that I went back and edited to explain, and then later went back and completely deleted.

What's bothering me is that I may have offended someone with what I wrote. In the post, I listed "The suicide rate is higher among girls who have had breast implants" (something to that affect) as Really Good News. In my mind, it sounded funny and light. Not because I think suicide is laughable, (because I don't think that at all). To me, it was like, Ha! Less to compete with. That's funny stuff.

Well, it's been weeks since that post and it's been eating at me. So sincerely, if I offended you, please forgive me. That was totally not my intention. I would never post anything mean-spirited. I hoped that people would understand my style of humor. This is for the people that didn't. Please accept my sincere apology.

Thank you.

Visions of wrapping packages dance in my head!

It's no secret that I have a small love for gift wrap. My love for paper and baubles to tie onto packages is deep and wide.

Well I found some G R E A T N E S S of the paper variety this week. I'm gonna share it with you because I'd like to furnish the world with love.

You're welcome.

Here are some of my favorites. I tried to narrow it down more than this, really I did. But I could not.

Retta Le Ritz
Buttons Gift Wrap (Lurve it)

Whimsy Press
There are 2 pics per pattern because it's, YES, REVERSIBLE!!!
Paper Invaders (Oh tiny invaders, I had love y'all, yeah?!)


Wasabi (Ohsodelicious!)


Also available, rubber cord for dude wrap & cute little pom pom ribbon for the girlies. Tasty, huh?


Also, Seltzer Goods
...has the coolest, most perfect notebooks. Look! You can take notes and fight cavities at the same time!


And who couldn't use a little beans and rice wrapping paper? I could use it! I'll tell you that right now!

Now surely you can see why I couldn't keep these little gems to myself. Somebody may be running around frantically in search of dude wrap and southern cooking wrapping paper! I gotta do my part people. Gotta do my part.

Refinement. Class. Delicacy and Elegance.

Other things I learned in Finishing School. You know, aside from my nice, tinkling laugh.

The school has since been shut down.

For obvious reasons, no?

Is there no limit to the shame I willingly bring onto myself?

**Edited: It should be noted that these are children's goggles. Hence the upturned nose, general squishiness of the face, and squinty eyes. Thank you.

Creation.

I edited the title of this post. My very perceptive husband pointed out to me that this wasn't Brotherly Love like I had first thought, but actually Motherly Love. I decided to call this photo Creation because to me, it is reminiscent of a certain Micaelangelo piece.

(You like that? How I sound like an art connoisseur?)

(Yeah, but I had to look up how to spell connoisseur. I was way off!)

So um, does this new title come with a trophy? Perhaps?

I've been a domestic person of late. Last week, I washed curtains.

(pause for effect)

I think because of that singular act, my new title should be, Homemaker Deluxe. I might even get me a gold bracelet and have it engraved, so that I can look legit.

And if that weren't enough, this week I sewed some stuff. And embroidered some other stuff.

There are lots of sweet new babies coming into the world, and I've been busy whipping up baby goodies. Those are my particular favorite kind of goodies to whip up. (And also things containing chocolate.) So much fun! I have a hard time knowing when to stop! (Baby goodies and chocolate.)

My very funny and totally awesome friend, Meeke, just had a baby girl, and my AH-mazing friend, Cassie, is due for TWIN GIRLS in about 6 weeks. I love newborns! I'm so thrilled to meet all of the babies (and smell them)!

So, this is what I've done thus far:

(Ha! Thus.)

One onesie and one Diaper/Wiper case for Miss Gabrielle Rose. (Cheers and applause!)


Two onesies and one Diaper/Wiper case each - for Ava and Leia. (Don't you love their names?) I love the popsicles.


Fabric close-ups for their pouches. (Try not to covet my outstanding photography skillz. I know they're totally ROCKIN'!)


Next in line, boy stuff! My 'nother friend whom I love, Apple, is about to have a sweet baby boy, so I get to do some boy onesies. I'm thinking about maybe a neck tie, a robot and possibly some chemistry beakers, or a calculator. Something cute and nerdy. I can't wait to see how they turn out!

With my new title and everything (Homemaker Deluxe), you may find that you have higher expectations of me now. So here's what I'll do. I'll leave y'all with some stellar homemaking quotes (when I manage to remember), since I'm now legit and everything.

Remember, I washed curtains.

(clears throat)

(Enter Announcer Voice)

And now for your domestic quote of the day:

"Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family."

Amen to that, huh?
And a good day to ya, one and all!!

Mommy!

Is there anything more painful than stubbing a toe?

How about stubbing three toes at once.

(draws sharp breath in and stifles scream)

My, don't you look lovely today! (See? I'm already being nicer.)

It's been a while since I last mentioned ballet. The class that was being offered at the gym is now on hiatus. Until possibly September.

It's like they don't even have a conscience. To get people all amped up on something and then take it away. That only creates problems.

I've been all destitute and everything without it. In the meantime, I've done a little research. (You know, I googled some stuff.)

I started by looking up "how to improve balance". Because like I've said before, I wobble. Stop laughing. It's very pretty. I found a good article though, and learned some stuff. The more I read about ballet, the more my confidence grew. Seems that even if you weren't "born a natural", you could still develop greatness. I like that. It lifts my heart again.

Also. Did you know that there is information available to all the people about this: How to Act Like a Ballet Dancer? That particular article was possibly the most insightful.

Here are the highlights. For me anyway.

And I quote:
This article should, maybe, be called:"How to Seem Like A Ballet Dancer".
[[I didn't bother correcting the typos. (Even though I want to real bad.)
(Yes, I know that's not grammatically correct.) I left it in its original form so as not to take away from the author's um, realness.]]

1. Wear your hair in a bun or ponytail all lot.
2. Try to act more mature and gracefull.
3. Be nice.
4. Wear nice shades of makeup, whatever matches your outfit.
5. Try to develop a nice, tinkling laugh.
6. Maybe buy some nice-smelling perfume.
7. Give people clear, interesting gazes.
8. Act more bewildered/confused/upset/happy about something. Well, just act more emotional in general.
9. Get a cat.
10. Grow flowers.

Grow flowers?
A nice, tinkling laugh? (I have more of a guffaw/cackle. It's loud and low-class.)

(Learned it in Finishing School.)

Clear, interesting gazes? Oh. You mean like this?


Wow. Ballet is painful to learn.

Look! I won a prize! (Alternate title: I feel all fancy.)

Sarah (at Life in the Parsonage), whom I may now have to call Sweet Thang, is so smart. And very astute. She really has an eye for greatness. I mean, that girl can spot it.

You wanna know how I know?

She picked me for a prize. An award.

I'm all a-fluster. I have been awarded the:

Premio Arte y Pico

I know. The what? The Premier Art of Pico Sauce? I mean, I DO have a deep and abiding love for pico sauce, but what's that got to do with blawging? Turns out it means Art and Peak.

So. I went to the site of the award's origin (because I'm a scholar and stuff) and this is what I found. Here is part of the Welcome message I read there. The original is Spanish, which of course was useless to me.

Since I no peekey panti.

There's an option to have the page translated. I was happy to partake of that service. Merci Beaucoup, very obliging Google service.

This is a loose translation of the author's vision for the Arte y Pico blog:

The idea came to see things as beautiful in the network of bloggers true artisans.
Here by publishing what I see, what I like about each blog, magazines, tutorials and everything that is interesting for all that are dedicated to crafts. I enjoy the site and feel at ease and at home.

This award is such an honor. Sarah, you are a doll face! I feel like the Tether Ball star player or something else really cool. You have flattered me today. And I thank you.

And now, I will spread this happy feeling and make the world a better place.

You're welcome. I do what I can.

First the rules, and then I will hand out my awards. And in Sarah's words: Before I pass this one along, I thought I should let you know that I think this is just a pretty lady, dressed up in a fab dress, who happens to be wearing wings...and not an actual angel, because according to the Bible she would need to be a big masculine he to indeed be a real angel.

Rules:
1) You have to pick 5 (or you know, some) blogs that you consider deserve this award-- creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogger community, no matter the language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award-winning, has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winning and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of " Arte y pico "blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) To show these rules.

I choose to excite, with all of this excitement, these exciting blawgers:

Sue at Confessions of a Tired Supergirl - I love to read her blog. I don't even know how I originally came across her, but I'm so glad I did. I laugh, I get chills, I think, I am thankful, I laugh, and I love it. She wins the award for: interesting material and craftiness. Her craft is her words. I have a great appreciation for that particular craft.

Faye at Red River Interiors - Faye's specialty is interior design. She posts beautiful pictures of interiors. And in her own words, "I'm never at a loss for design ideas. Send me questions, I'll send you answers. I'll share my trade secrets. . ." How generous is that?! So generous. Plus, she's like, my biggest fan, so go see her. She wins the award for: creativity and design.

AM at Antique Mommy - I love her blog, too. Her craft is also her words. I could repeat here, everything I said about Sue. In fact, I will: I laugh, I get chills, I think, I am thankful, I laugh, and I love it. One thing that's extra special aboutt Antique Mommy is her way of making me more grateful to be a mother. Her love for, and wonder and amazement with her child, makes me look differently at my own. Thank you, AM!

Missy at It's Almost Naptime - I enjoy the site and feel at ease and at home. That's what this award is all about. Missy is very transparent, very real, and very charming. As some say in the South, she is just darlin'.

I am so glad that I have gotten to "know" all of these women. Every one influences me in some way.

Enjoy your awards girls. You deserve them.

Tooth Ache

You remember that one thing I once said about refusing to post about dental appointments. Yeah? You remember. Oh. Because, um, I may have lied.

Apparently.

I thought there would be nothing to report. Which is sort of the way you hope a dental appointment will transpire.

We have cavities. And by we, I mean they. My two eldest. Cavities. I am so not gettin' my Honorable Mention ribbon this year.

Man, I was so close, too.

I think I could handle one cavity. Not so glaring and with all the flashy neon arrows pointing at me. Bad Mama. Terrrrrrrible Mama. Sugarhead, (whose name now looks like foreshadowing), has six. SIX. Sweet Pickle has two. I'm not good at math, but I know that's not good.

The big deal about this for me, is toothpaste. Fluoride, she (the dentist) said, will "arrest the problem".

Y'all.

There have been a few isshahs in my adult life that I have not wanted to budge on. One was organic milk. The other? Uh-huh. Fluoride. With gas costing upwards of $87 a gallon, we've started buying regular milk. I couldn't see paying $7-8 on milk every week. And my kids don't drink it, so I figured Stretch and I could bite the bullet. So about a month or so ago, we started drinking "the other stuff".

I have to pause for a moment of silence.
.
.
.
.
(sigh)

So, I've reconciled myself (mostly) to the whole milk thing, but now fluoride? Today, for possibly the first time ever (in our home), the kids brushed with Crest.

How can it be that by avoiding a toxin and trying to keep them in optimum health, I have damaged their teeth.

Sometimes I feel like a salmon of Capistrano (if they even exist). Swimming up-river. And I think, you know? Growing up, we brushed with Crest. Or Aquafresh. Or Close-Up. Or whatever was on sale. I've never had a cavity problem. We ate cheap bologna, Little Debbie's and that ham with the cheese chunks in it. We drank untold gallons of Kool-Aid with sugar that wasn't even measured. Just poured into the pitcher. And it was good. Who knows how much corn syrup or hydrogenated oils we consumed? I'm quite sure the amount of trash we ingested may well be considered legendary. The stuff of legends, people. Surely no one can eat that and live.

And yet here we are.

But I KNOW that stuff is bad for you. I know "it makes our bodies sad". In the long run. I've tried to be preventative. To think of paying more now (for things like supplements, etc.) so as to prevent a significant pay increase to hospitals and insurance companies later. To avoid dying a painful (and preventable) death on some hospital bed somewhere, with a self-inflicted disease. I've tried to be diligent (well, as diligent as a person with a propensity towards forgetfulness and laziness can be) about our health. I've read and read and read some more. I've gotten excited about things like raw diets, juicing, supplements, probiotics and fluoride-free toothpaste and water... I've been very interested in our health.

I'm so disappointed. And I feel somewhat disillusioned. And by now having my children brush with fluoride toothpaste, I feel like a fraud.

Of all the human traits that be, flakiness is one that sickens me.

This whole thing makes me feel tired. The bottom line is, I want what's best for my kids. I want to make choices that I can feel good about. But right now, I question my ability to do that well... and on the toothpaste issue, I feel guilty either way.

Blockage

If there is such a thing as blog (blawg) writer's block, I am afflicted.

So very.

I sit to peck out a post and then delete the whole thing because I get so bored with myself. And if I'm boring even me, then I'll just go ahead and spare y'all. I'd rather have the same post up for a week than post something that makes my brain leak.

I guess there's not much to report lately, unless you want to hear about a dentist's appointment, or grocery shopping. Or how I've been yelling alot lately.

Other topics I've considered include:

• mountainous piles of endless laundry to wash, fold and iron. Ooh, captivating.
  
• new lotion I got as a prize from a friend that smells really good to me, but Stretch thinks it smells like Stetson. So now we call it the cowboy lotion. Its real name is Japanese Cherry Blossom. Apparently, he thinks cowboys smell like cherries.
• how I can't quite catch up on cleaning my house. And by catch up, I'm not sure what I mean. What I'm dealing with though, is cleaning of the Spring variety. Dusty vents on the ceiling, cobwebs, dusty curtains, dusty baseboards and door seams... The theme, in case you haven't picked it up, is dust. Loads and loads of dust.
  

All of these are real things that are happening in my life, and they're, you know, dear to my heart. But I can't help but think they lack a certain, how do you say... draw. Allure, if you will.

They're boring.

Bore. Ring.

With the exception of the lotion. That's not boring. It's actually funny. But see, I just posted about it. And there's not much else to say on that topic.

Hopefully this'll all clear up soon though, so I can continue to crank out the kind of awesomeness you're all used to reading here.

I hate to disappoint. I really do.

Toothless no more.

Last week, Puddin' cut his first two teeth. Two teeth at one time.

Poor thing ran fever over 103º which caused him to throw up. Twice. He was also awake more at night, which is something I'm never in the market for.

You know... less sleep.

But he now has two of the cutest teeth on his bottom row. I just love to see baby teeth. The bottom two in particular. And you know, I never once had to intervene with any type of home remedy to hurry them along.

Not once.

Mop n Glo

I'm a lucky girl. My kids like to fix my hair. They love to comb it (and comb it and comb it) and put barrettes in it. All of my barrettes. In their words, they're helping me "get ready for the party". I love it. It feels really good, and they're so cute when they do it, I just want to squish 'em.

This right here? This is the hard work of my Sweet Pickle.

It should be noted that all of the barrettes are carefully placed on the very top of my head. He likes to be able to brush the bottom and "make it look beautiful". My boy loves hair. He likes the hold it, brush it, make knots in by rubbing it way too much... As an infant I even found it in his diaper once. He loves it.

Also, I can't tell you how many pictures I took of the floor or my kitchen countertop in an attempt to photograph the top/back of my head. Just to make sure I could actually take a picture of my head, (because I was starting to lose hope) I decided to look up at the camera. Well, that's much easier, because I can SEE the camera angle and make sure it is indeed pointed in the right direction. It's cheating, really. I know. So this is my face. Ready for the party. (Looking at myself now, I have to wonder what is up with my face? Why is my skin all splotchy and jaundiced lookin'? I look like an over-ripe peach. That needs some make-up. And the gravity has an interesting effect on my face too, because it's not usually so oval. It's much more, um, round. I kinda like this angle though. Only one chin. I could get used to that.)

After all of the photography hooplah, I mopped. All bejeweled, lookin' like a princess.

Charming

I love my charm bracelet. I like looking at it. It's such a personal piece of jewelry that tells so much about us.

• unicorn - only the greatest animal ever created
  
• owl - I really like the way they look
  
• tiny (rusty) locket - I like lockets; I found this one
  
• plumeria - bought on our honeymoon in O'ahu, also, the best smelling flower in the universe
  
• monkey - Sugarhead's favorite toy; this charm represents her
  
• heart - Puddin' charm, because he was the first of my children that I consciously and deliberately accepted and embraced into my heart as an infant
  
• T-Rex - I cannot look at one and not think of my Sweet Pickle who loves them
  
• pinecone - no special significance, just like the way it looks alot
  
• bride & groom - represents my oneness with my man, Stretch
  
• crown - to remind me Whose I am

What about you? Do you have a charm bracelet? What charms are on it? Why those?
If you don't have one, what would be on it if you did have one?

Gratitude/Really Good News

Elizabeth invited me to do a Feel Good Friday. So, here are a few things I'm grateful for today.

• Tonight, Stretch and I have a date. Our 3rd date in 3 weeks. We are on a roll.
• Puddin's taking steps, learning to walk. Even though he's our third baby, I still marvel.
  
• Things are working out well for my good man at his new job.
  
• Mercy. Here's how I define it: The kids didn't press me for more information about lizard copulation.
  
• My children aren't seriously ill or afflicted. Our health is intact.
• I'm not dealing with menopause, or perimenopause.
• I finally have a tan.
• I'm not having to clean out a freezer full of meat gone bad.
• Our dog lives outside.
• Tarantulas are not native to S. La., but boudin is.
  

For more, hippity-hop on over to Mommy, Etc. Because good news is like a health tonic. Good for the bones.

Biology 101

The Specimens

My children saw this. They can spot a lizard like nobody's business. Guess what I said they were doing (because I am nimble-footed and swifty with my mind)... I told them they were making baby lizards. Tell me. WHO DOES THAT?! If there were ever a time I wanted to press rewind and take back what I said..... I felt like just slapping myself in the forehead over and over. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!


Thanks for scaring off my girl with your flashy thing and inability to stand back, Lady-with-an-apparent-lack-of-skill-with-children-and-cameras.

Nice.

It's Coming Right For Us!!

Why do now what you can put off til later. Repeat the mantra.

As much as I like to ascribe to that way of thinking, sometimes the better part of me just needs to get something done. And this, is just the push I need. BooMama is thy name. Inspiring is thy game.

I want to paint our bathroom. I've been wanting to paint it. It's gonna be an ordeal though. Because there are five of us, and only the one bathroom. And every inch of the walls will have to be face lifted. Kiltz. Paint. White. Teal. It's gonna be tedious, but it's gonna be mahhhvelous.

I tell ya, BooMama could not have timed this better. Just this past weekend, Stretch & I went to Home Depot and got almost all of the supplies we need for our Extreme Makeover, Tiny Bathroom Edition.

Before and After pictures are coming. I hope you can sleep until then. The whole shebang will come to a close some time over the next few weeks. And I'm starting to get all giddy just thinking about it! Everybody loves a good Before & After right? It's even my favorite category on Wheel.

If you're participating, let me know! I don't want to miss out on your very own beautification!

Jesus laughs.

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. -- C S Lewis

We settle.

This was the crux of the message in church this past weekend; joy. We settle for what we think is holiness, when "infinite joy" is offered. We are to represent Christ right. I am His representative here on earth. Following Christ is not a solemn, joyless duty. That is not the message of the Bible. Jesus laughs.


I want to laugh out loud more often too.

"...because the joy of the Lord will make you strong/The joy of God is your strength!." Nehemiah 8:10

Girls love Weird Al

And really, who can blame us them? I mean, just look at him. And that's before you ever even hear his lyrical genius. That is the face of a Ladieth Man.

I also just learned that Weird Al is a Christian. Well now. How about that. I guess that's just holy confirmation that I need to add him to my list of imaginary boyfriends.

(I really should compile a list so that I can keep up. I'm so forgetful, and this multi-tasking is tiring.)

Looks like there's a common denominator though between my boy Al and my man Stretch. Can you spot it? Yep. Sweet fake beards. Now you tell me, what girl in the whole universe has the power to stand under that kind of temptation.


Now look at this;

Did you know this was under that? I didn't.

Or that this was under Stretch's beard?...

Oh-ho-ho, I know how to pick em.

I do not shun fancy things like electricity.

The power went out today. No apparent reason. I called to report an outage and the guy said there was a pole down.

I thought: I could never be Amish. They work so hard, and they do it all in the elements. I was immobilized by the lack of electricity. Immobilized. I just sort of w a n d e r e d around waiting for it to come back on; trying not to get too thirsty, because our well is electric and Stretch said something about not using the water because we would have to prime the pump. Or something like that. I tried not to focus on the heat, which truly, was bearable. The kids never complained once. They just colored. But me? I looked around and saw lots of things I could be doing but I didn't want to get overheated. Because you know how it is. Once you get hot, it takes a long time to get un-hot again. Especially without the help of the modern marvel of electricity.

Weird Al, the great thinker, had some insights into the Amish way. He sang a little parody called Amish Paradise:

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price/We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise....

I could never be Amish.

My new boyfriend and similar nonsense.

My list of imaginary boyfriends is growing. I'm forgetting who all is on the list. And yet in spite of my forgetfulness, I've decided to add another. Jack Black. Because he's just so fancy.



Stretch (my real boyfriend) and I had another date last night. (Woohoo!) We went to see Kung Fu Panda, and let me just say, if you've been debating whether or not to see this because it's, you know, a cartoon/a kid movie/some other reason... please, I implore you, let me put all of that wavering to rest. Go see this movie! It is a vastness of total and complete awesomeness. It is the stuff of legends. It's legendary.

It's also outrageously funny.

In other news, we've made it through week 2 of Stretch's new job. The second week will be harder than the first. I think that's a Spanish proverb or somethin'. But even if it's not, it was still true for us this past week. I am learning to be more proficient though. Meaning, I am learning to do things myself that I normally wait on Stretch to do for me. Because he's my helper. He helps with things. Like killing bugs, taking out the trash, and getting things out of the shed. I fear the shed. It is the home of all manner of arachnids (which I loathe) and it is, therefore, a scary, scary place for me. But it's also the place of "the ring of summertime sanity". You might call yours a swimming pool.

Whatever. I'm not gonna split hairs over it.

Anyway, I usually call on my man to handle these things. But having him gone from before breakfast till supper is a long time to wait. And everybody knows that an unscheduled day without help from your husband (and of course I use the word "schedule" very loosely) is the devil's playground. So I had to just pony up. Buckle down. Bite the bullet. Bury the needle in the haystack.

I had to go into the shed myself. It was like a rite of passage for me. Which I passed.

So yeah, I'm growing up.

I think I'll just leave the pool out all summer long though. I don't want to grow up too fast.

Also, I ate brownies today. With chocolate chips in them. (My favorite kind.) They were delicious.

Also also, I've been working on my tan. I laid under the boiling sun 3 or 4 times in the last two weeks. It was very hot. So stop calling me fair-complected. I will eat you.

The end.